Oct 7, 2026 · 54 min · 11 segments
Is it just me, or does September feel like it was six months ago? I open this episode by sharing a very real and very deep healing experience I had on October 1st that has made this month feel like a…
Ashley HämäläinenHostI think in the previous episode I shared with you that my grandma right now is in her last days.
But I've been talking with my mom a lot about it, and Yus and I made a decision that we would not be traveling to go to the funeral because our son Lumi, who's three, he's never been on a plane before.
He's never been that far away from home before, and both he and Hanu are very, very sensitive.
He'll kind of hide how he's feeling and not cry until I say to him, like, "You can cry.
And I just, I said to my mom, like, "I, I just don't think it's a good idea that the first time we go on a plane and the first time he comes to your house, that it's a week or even, like, four days, whatever the case is, of deep sadness and of a lot of just grieving.
For three years old, I feel like that's really heavy for him and that the first trip is then gonna be, like, connected to this grief.
And although he may not remember that going forward, he's still in his very, very sensitive time.
Like, zero to seven, that's when the subconscious forms, and so I'm very aware of what's being imprinted on him.
And I was so scared that this was then just gonna be like another brick dropping on her.
But to my surprise, she supported me so much and she said, "No, I, I agree.
Come in the summertime and we'll do all these fun things and it's gonna be such a happy time." And she said after my grandma passes, she's gonna come here and heal here with us.
And I felt so seen, so seen by my mom in a way that I don't think I have ever felt in my whole life.
I think in the previous episode I shared with you that my grandma right now is in her last days.
But I've been talking with my mom a lot about it, and Yus and I made a decision that we would not be traveling to go to the funeral because our son Lumi, who's three, he's never been on a plane before.
He's never been that far away from home before, and both he and Hanu are very, very sensitive.
He'll kind of hide how he's feeling and not cry until I say to him, like, "You can cry.
And I just, I said to my mom, like, "I, I just don't think it's a good idea that the first time we go on a plane and the first time he comes to your house, that it's a week or even, like, four days, whatever the case is, of deep sadness and of a lot of just grieving.
For three years old, I feel like that's really heavy for him and that the first trip is then gonna be, like, connected to this grief.
And although he may not remember that going forward, he's still in his very, very sensitive time.
Like, zero to seven, that's when the subconscious forms, and so I'm very aware of what's being imprinted on him.
And I was so scared that this was then just gonna be like another brick dropping on her.
But to my surprise, she supported me so much and she said, "No, I, I agree.
Come in the summertime and we'll do all these fun things and it's gonna be such a happy time." And she said after my grandma passes, she's gonna come here and heal here with us.
And I felt so seen, so seen by my mom in a way that I don't think I have ever felt in my whole life.
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