Sep 25, 2026 · 23 min · 7 segments
Our needs and goals are - so frequently - marginalized to enable the life and career of others. How do we transform this balance between our aims and hopes - and the imperatives of others?
Priscilla Dunk-WestGuest
Tara BrabazonHost
And we'll drill a little bit more deeply, if we can, into the identity question.
Now, I've never asked this overtly of you, but I don't know if you've ever worked for a bullying, jealous or gaslighting boss or senior colleagues.
I have, right? But have you ever had those situations where those colleagues have actively attempted to block staff members from completing their research and developing an independent career? So for those of us who have gone that, so blockage, blockage, blockage, appropriation, theft, what do you recommend as strategies for growth and development for our colleagues that are working in these really tough environments?
what a horrible thing who has the energy to block other people's anyway um that's awful that's awful um i always think it's healthy when you're in that environment to have relationships outside that environment so go outside your discipline talk to people across the other building talk to people you know from across the university across the world across disciplines and find your people and your people might look like a motley crew fabulous of diverse kind of people but find something that's in common that you can work together and so I think really just try and ignore the haters as they say and look outside of your own discipline or look outside of that environment to try and find some ways to spend your energy that are going to be productive for you and going to be lead to meaningful sort of partnerships and relationships.
I think that's great, you know, because when you're in the middle of a bullying situation, when you're in the middle of one of those, and we both know this, there doesn't feel like there's an outside.
So actually actively creating that pathway to move beyond, whether it be through social media, through digital means, just to remind yourself there's a big world out there outside of the daily torture.
And Priscilla, I think these crew, these particularly bullying academics, can't do it themselves.
so the people i've seen have generally been pretty poor academics who are then in positions of authority and power they can't do it so all they can do is block others
it's it's a bit sad really and i think you know academia does a really good job i think of sometimes telling us that this is how it is and this is you know it's always going to be like this and you're not good enough and you haven't done this and you're not going to do that and i think trying to overlook those messages I think is a really powerful thing.
And so not resisting the temptation to see yourself in deficit in that space and instead look for opportunities for growth, for flourishing, for being fabulous outside of that deficit-led because everything's going to rot in that space, right? It's not going to grow anything.
can stay where you are but you can have those relationships where you are flourishing outside i
think that's i think that's some of the best advice i've ever come across because what the bullying literature says is unfortunately if the bystanders are not active you have to get out and that's right you just said why should that person who's been treated so disgracefully have to move on and have their life destroyed again
yeah there will come a threshold though when that when you can't stay and when you're you know if you're miserable it's affecting your health and well-being absolutely get out this is the same thing we used to say when i worked in child protection a million years ago is find a good manager find a good manager and stay stay there and that that's a big kind
um influence on your well-being if you can find someone who's who's good to work with and good to work for that's going to have you staying and so i think yeah if you can look outside and you get those opportunities to flourish with relationships outside of where you are absolutely go for it and if you can stay then great
oh that and can i say it also works i was laughing while you were speaking there because that also works for publishing too isn't it when you find a great commissioning editor yes you stay with them in sort of a slightly stalking fashion like you're my friend you're my best friend so when basically it's a bottom line in careers if you find a great person stay with them make them your friend
And we'll drill a little bit more deeply, if we can, into the identity question.
Now, I've never asked this overtly of you, but I don't know if you've ever worked for a bullying, jealous or gaslighting boss or senior colleagues.
I have, right? But have you ever had those situations where those colleagues have actively attempted to block staff members from completing their research and developing an independent career? So for those of us who have gone that, so blockage, blockage, blockage, appropriation, theft, what do you recommend as strategies for growth and development for our colleagues that are working in these really tough environments?
what a horrible thing who has the energy to block other people's anyway um that's awful that's awful um i always think it's healthy when you're in that environment to have relationships outside that environment so go outside your discipline talk to people across the other building talk to people you know from across the university across the world across disciplines and find your people and your people might look like a motley crew fabulous of diverse kind of people but find something that's in common that you can work together and so I think really just try and ignore the haters as they say and look outside of your own discipline or look outside of that environment to try and find some ways to spend your energy that are going to be productive for you and going to be lead to meaningful sort of partnerships and relationships.
I think that's great, you know, because when you're in the middle of a bullying situation, when you're in the middle of one of those, and we both know this, there doesn't feel like there's an outside.
So actually actively creating that pathway to move beyond, whether it be through social media, through digital means, just to remind yourself there's a big world out there outside of the daily torture.
And Priscilla, I think these crew, these particularly bullying academics, can't do it themselves.
so the people i've seen have generally been pretty poor academics who are then in positions of authority and power they can't do it so all they can do is block others
it's it's a bit sad really and i think you know academia does a really good job i think of sometimes telling us that this is how it is and this is you know it's always going to be like this and you're not good enough and you haven't done this and you're not going to do that and i think trying to overlook those messages I think is a really powerful thing.
And so not resisting the temptation to see yourself in deficit in that space and instead look for opportunities for growth, for flourishing, for being fabulous outside of that deficit-led because everything's going to rot in that space, right? It's not going to grow anything.
can stay where you are but you can have those relationships where you are flourishing outside i
think that's i think that's some of the best advice i've ever come across because what the bullying literature says is unfortunately if the bystanders are not active you have to get out and that's right you just said why should that person who's been treated so disgracefully have to move on and have their life destroyed again
yeah there will come a threshold though when that when you can't stay and when you're you know if you're miserable it's affecting your health and well-being absolutely get out this is the same thing we used to say when i worked in child protection a million years ago is find a good manager find a good manager and stay stay there and that that's a big kind
um influence on your well-being if you can find someone who's who's good to work with and good to work for that's going to have you staying and so i think yeah if you can look outside and you get those opportunities to flourish with relationships outside of where you are absolutely go for it and if you can stay then great
oh that and can i say it also works i was laughing while you were speaking there because that also works for publishing too isn't it when you find a great commissioning editor yes you stay with them in sort of a slightly stalking fashion like you're my friend you're my best friend so when basically it's a bottom line in careers if you find a great person stay with them make them your friend
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