Sunsets Are The New Happy Hour

Sunsets Are The New Happy Hour

#17: Why Your Brain Is Wired for Negativity (And How to Override It)

Sep 12, 2026 · 11 min · 8 segments

Your brain is wired to scan for threats, not to notice what went right. That negativity bias kept your ancestors alive, but now it keeps you lying awake ruminating, reaching for something to take the…

Your brain is wired to scan for threats, not to notice what went right. That negativity bias kept your ancestors alive, but now it keeps you lying awake ruminating, reaching for something to take the edge off, and wondering why you can never feel satisfied. When the wanting system in your brain grows louder while the liking system goes quiet, no amount of willpower closes that gap. Kristin Horstman, gray area drinking coach and host of Sunsets Are the New Happy Hour, breaks down the neuroscience of why gratitude is a nervous system regulation tool, not a platitude. She covers negativity bias, the wanting vs. liking dopamine split from Berridge and Robinson's research, brain imaging studies on gratitude, and heart rate variability. Then she guides you through The One Good Thing, a somatic practice you can do in 10 seconds anywhere. Built for sober curious women who are done white-knuckling it and ready for something that actually works. Chapters: (00:00) Introduction (00:50) Why Your Brain Skips the Good (01:55) Gratitude in Brain Imaging Studies (03:14) Heart Rate Variability and Safety (04:02) The Wanting vs. Liking Split (05:41) Why One Try Never Works (06:48) The One Good Thing Practice (08:22) Kristin's Story: Gratitude Under Pressure (10:26) Your Challenge: Pick a Cue The One Good Thing practice takes 10 seconds. leave a comment if you tried it while you were watching the video. If you're ready to feel better, think clearer, and brighten your life, you're in the right place. SUBSCRIBE for new episodes every week. As always, I'm rooting for you. 🌅 WORK WITH KRISTIN HORSTMAN 1:1 Gray Area Drinking Coaching: https://www.kristinhorstman.com/gray-area-drinking-coaching Private Health Coaching: https://www.kristinhorstman.com/health-coaching FREE RESOURCES Substack: https://substack.com/@kristinhorstman Brighten Your Life Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/865785648653696 6 Tips To Brighten Your Life: https://www.kristinhorstman.com/6-tips-to-brighten-your-life Resources for Loved Ones of Those Struggling with Substance Use Disorder: https://www.kristinhorstman.com/resources CONNECT WITH KRISTIN HORSTMAN Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sunsetsarethenewhappyhour Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachkristinhorstman Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachKristinHorstman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristin-horstman-43001280 Website: https://www.kristinhorstman.com LISTEN TO SUNSETS ARE THE NEW HAPPY HOUR Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7HL6A1o2USWQuJ2lRPoplk Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sunsets-are-the-new-happy-hour/id1896762635 AFFILIATES & DISCOUNT CODES Zero Proof Experiences: https://zeroproofexperiences.com/?aff=4 Bookshop.org storefront: https://bookshop.org/shop/kristinhorstman ARMRA: https://tryarmra.novel.com/login?referralCode=de9ddb1e-9f9d-4c8a-ba43-21a30abb552e Jolene Park NOURISH Coaching Program: https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/a/35865/ihLPoJPC Jolene Park Ultimate Sober Bundle: https://checkout.grayareadrinkers.com/ultimate-sober-af-bundle/?affiliate=kristinhorstman Cured Nutrition: https://curednutrition.com/collections/all?referral\_code=KRI2L0STF Loose Leaf Tea Market: https://looseleafteamarket.com?bg\_ref=nwruvHn7oD Use code TEAKRISTIN10 for 10% off (no minimum, enter at checkout) Some links above are affiliate links. I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things I genuinely love.

Your brain is wired to scan for threats, not to notice what went right. That negativity bias kept your ancestors alive, but now it keeps you lying awake ruminating, reaching for something to take the…

Gratitude in the Brain and Body1:07 – 3:20

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:07

So here's the good news.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:08

Gratitude is a skill you can build.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:11

You're not going to undo millions of years of wiring, but your attention is yours to aim.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:17

And we can see what happens when you do.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:20

One study actually caught it happening.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:22

In 2015, researchers at the University of Southern California published a brain imaging study in Frontiers in Psychology.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:31

They put people in a scanner and had them imagine themselves inside the stories of Holocaust survivors, being handed food or a coat, something that was keeping them alive.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:42

Then they rated how much gratitude they felt.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:45

Here's what they found.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:46

The stronger the gratitude someone reported, the more activity showed up in two regions of the brain, the anterior cingulate cortex and the medial prefrontal cortex.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:57

Now, you don't need to remember the names.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:59

What's important is that these regions play a role in how we weigh meaning and what we treat as important.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:06

So gratitude isn't a small feeling passing through.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:10

It's running through the same part of your brain that you use to decide what matters.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:15

So that's a snapshot.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:16

It shows what gratitude looks like in the moment you feel it.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:19

But another study scanned people before and after three weeks of daily gratitude journaling and found a measurable change in a region tied to how much we value giving to others.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:32

And that came from just writing it down day after day.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:36

So that's what gratitude looks like in the brain.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:39

Well, what about the rest of you? Researchers have started looking at gratitude and the heart.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:44

A lot of them measure something called heart rate variability.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:48

In plain terms, it's a sign of how well your nervous system adapts how easily it shifts between revved up and calm.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:56

And in several of these studies, gratitude practice lined up with a calmer, more adaptable state, a lower heart rate, sometimes lower blood pressure, and small signs of the body downshifting.

Kristin HorstmanHost

3:09

When your body gets a signal that it's safe, it can settle.

Kristin HorstmanHost

3:13

And gratitude is one of those signals.

Gratitude in the Brain and Body1:07 – 3:20

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:07

So here's the good news.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:08

Gratitude is a skill you can build.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:11

You're not going to undo millions of years of wiring, but your attention is yours to aim.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:17

And we can see what happens when you do.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:20

One study actually caught it happening.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:22

In 2015, researchers at the University of Southern California published a brain imaging study in Frontiers in Psychology.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:31

They put people in a scanner and had them imagine themselves inside the stories of Holocaust survivors, being handed food or a coat, something that was keeping them alive.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:42

Then they rated how much gratitude they felt.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:45

Here's what they found.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:46

The stronger the gratitude someone reported, the more activity showed up in two regions of the brain, the anterior cingulate cortex and the medial prefrontal cortex.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:57

Now, you don't need to remember the names.

Kristin HorstmanHost

1:59

What's important is that these regions play a role in how we weigh meaning and what we treat as important.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:06

So gratitude isn't a small feeling passing through.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:10

It's running through the same part of your brain that you use to decide what matters.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:15

So that's a snapshot.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:16

It shows what gratitude looks like in the moment you feel it.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:19

But another study scanned people before and after three weeks of daily gratitude journaling and found a measurable change in a region tied to how much we value giving to others.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:32

And that came from just writing it down day after day.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:36

So that's what gratitude looks like in the brain.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:39

Well, what about the rest of you? Researchers have started looking at gratitude and the heart.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:44

A lot of them measure something called heart rate variability.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:48

In plain terms, it's a sign of how well your nervous system adapts how easily it shifts between revved up and calm.

Kristin HorstmanHost

2:56

And in several of these studies, gratitude practice lined up with a calmer, more adaptable state, a lower heart rate, sometimes lower blood pressure, and small signs of the body downshifting.

Kristin HorstmanHost

3:09

When your body gets a signal that it's safe, it can settle.

Kristin HorstmanHost

3:13

And gratitude is one of those signals.