Rewire Your Attraction

[drink pouring] If the goal ain't procreation, why am I attracted has to change.

[laughs] And a lot of people will say, "Well, you should make sure the person you're having kids with is this, is that." The reality is people change when kids are involved, when they're not the main attraction or the main focus or the main priority.

So even still, you have married people who have kids and completely change.

So there is no safety net of, quote-unquote, "knowing a person" before you have kids with them.

Um, but yes, please do your due diligence the best way you can.

How I see you treat other people changes my attraction to you.

How you speak when you get upset will change my attraction to you.

How you take charge, how you openly communicate without me having to, uh, reprimand you for not communicating or have the sixth conversation about you not explaining yourself well or, um, letting me know what the next thing is or what's really going on.

How well you take care of yourself tells me how well you'll take care of me or won't.

If you let your health fall by the wayside just to do things, then you would ignore me when I tell you I don't feel well or, um, I'm not doing good or I need to go to the doctor.

You'll find irritation with the fact that I'm taking time out for myself and I'll have no time for it.

How independent you are regardless of, you know, who's going to help me or I'm not gonna do this thing because I don't wanna do all the work myself.

I want someone to do this.

Like, that tells me, okay, before I came into the picture, how were you surviving? How were you taking care of yourself? How was you, uh, maintaining, you know, your peace before I came here? I don't wanna be the revelation of peace to you.

I wanna see you already have peace, already prioritize your peace, already prioritize your health before I get there.

And, and, and that's-- Pause right here.

That's what frustrates me the most when people see how my life is prioritized, see how I take time out for myself, see how majority of the time I'm doing something for myself, um, something I enjoy.

I'm being honest about where I have space for this and that.

I very selective on who I give my time to for a reason, the way that I eat, the things that I don't do, and they will see that and be like, "You know what? Let me interject in her life and do this.

Let me interject in her life and not bring her more peace.

Let me insert myself in her space and tell her all of these things that I want to do and all of these things that I'm planning and not do shit.

Let me tell her what sounds good, but not follow through and do that.

Let me ask for her time and disrespect it in the same 48 hours." And then they turn around and they have a problem with me because I'm like, "Okay.

Okay.

This is what we're doing? Okay.