Jun 10, 2026 · 29 min · 9 segments
This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system…
Okay
... that we'll get to, but I want to start it with a story that, uh, was shared one time at a training I was at with Schnars, where a colleague stood up after one of the times where we would been working, we had on a break, and he was, he was wrestling with some stuff in real time.
'Cause if you went to this kind of training with Schnars, it's n- you're not just abs- absorbing information intellectually.
You're also challenged to have to deal with it yourself, of how is this playing out in my own life? Because if I'm not dealing with life better, how can I help my clients deal with life better? Because I won't be able to handle and tolerate the anxiety that's gonna come in the room-
Yeah
Yeah
And so he was telling a story of how his daughter, who was grown at the time now, at the time of this story, um, he had had...
He divorced his wife when she was young, and so she was raised in separate families.
She was the one that was, uh, ended up with Mom, and he was the bad guy according to the story and the versions of events that she was informed by her mother.
And so as she started getting older and started kind of living her own life again in her 20s, um, she sought out therapy.
So she asked her dad, "Who should I, do you have somebody I should go see?" So he actually hooked her up with somebody that was actually in the room.
Mm-hmm.
And so what was great is after working through, uh, her history, she started to get the fuller picture of everything-
Mm
... that was going on, 'cause she kind of got an objective viewpoint of both sides of her parents, of seeing who both these people were.
Seeing that Dad wasn't such a bad guy.
I mean, he had his downfalls and he had his struggles, and this is where we're gonna land in the story in just a second.
Okay
... that we'll get to, but I want to start it with a story that, uh, was shared one time at a training I was at with Schnars, where a colleague stood up after one of the times where we would been working, we had on a break, and he was, he was wrestling with some stuff in real time.
'Cause if you went to this kind of training with Schnars, it's n- you're not just abs- absorbing information intellectually.
You're also challenged to have to deal with it yourself, of how is this playing out in my own life? Because if I'm not dealing with life better, how can I help my clients deal with life better? Because I won't be able to handle and tolerate the anxiety that's gonna come in the room-
Yeah
Yeah
And so he was telling a story of how his daughter, who was grown at the time now, at the time of this story, um, he had had...
He divorced his wife when she was young, and so she was raised in separate families.
She was the one that was, uh, ended up with Mom, and he was the bad guy according to the story and the versions of events that she was informed by her mother.
And so as she started getting older and started kind of living her own life again in her 20s, um, she sought out therapy.
So she asked her dad, "Who should I, do you have somebody I should go see?" So he actually hooked her up with somebody that was actually in the room.
Mm-hmm.
And so what was great is after working through, uh, her history, she started to get the fuller picture of everything-
Mm
... that was going on, 'cause she kind of got an objective viewpoint of both sides of her parents, of seeing who both these people were.
Seeing that Dad wasn't such a bad guy.
I mean, he had his downfalls and he had his struggles, and this is where we're gonna land in the story in just a second.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.
