Adoption And Identity With Anna Bernacki

Wow, so much power in all of what you just said, and such an important space to really be thinking about this idea of-

Yeah

... building resilience and helping kids and families to thrive within their own unique contexts because-

Yes

... nobody's context, in general, looks the same.

And so I imagine that's a big piece of it, helping folks to understand themselves and where they're fitting into their context, and how to thrive-

Absolutely

... within that context.

Absolutely, yes.

And so what is the most important thing that you think is necessary for helping a child to understand themselves, their context, and then to thrive within that context post-adoption?

I think there's a lot of layers to it, right? I mean, I think picking one thing would be very hard because there's just so many...

Everybody has a unique story, and everyone has different layers to, and different ages, right? As they grow up, there are different questions that are being asked and different things that come up.

So I think narrowing it down to one thing might be [laughs] a challenge.

But I think open, I always say honesty.

From a very, very young age, a child should never remember the day that they were told they were adopted, right? Like, they should never remember that day.

And so it's just so incorporated into the conversation.

When you're rocking a baby to sleep, no, they cannot understand you, but you can be developing that language and they're familiar with, "Your birth mother loved you so much.

Your birth mother, you know, gave you life.

You are here, you know, and we love you, and you have two mothers." And you can start to introduce that language to them so they are, they know.

And I am so thankful that is something that my adoptive parents did so well.

I never had that moment of, I just always knew that I was adopted, and I actually was very confused why other people didn't have a mysterious birth mother out there because [laughs] that was so normalized in my home.

So from a young age, that is very important.

And then as they start to develop their own unique personalities and their interests and things that might not look like you, or they might struggle with things that might not look like you, it's allowing them to be free to be themselves.

And really, like, you may not relate to their special interests.

You may not relate to their dislike of something, but really embracing that and allowing them to be wholly who they are because that DNA runs thick.