Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release)

Today, we are going to be talking about something that therapists call the over-functioning, under-functioning dynamic, and this is a doozy.

I hope that you are well-caffeinated.

Maybe you're taking me on a walk because we have got a lot of ground to cover.

It's gonna be thick.

It's gonna be rich.

It's going to, I think, leave you with some really important insights and ideas and new ways of looking at and thinking about your relationships.

So when I say over-functioning, under-functioning dynamic, it's a fancy way of basically talking about one partner doing too much and the other partner doing not enough.

So this episode has got three parts.

Part one, I am going to define and operationalize the over-functioning, under-functioning dynamic.

Part two, I'm going to offer you a relational self-awareness informed framework for thinking about the over-functioning, under-functioning dynamic.

And you know, if you've been listening to the show for a bit, that whenever we are creating a relational self-awareness informed framework around any topic, we attend to three realms.

Realm one, the cultural realm.

So we ask questions like, what are the bigger cultural narratives that shape how people think about and experience the dynamic? Realm two, the interpersonal.

What is happening in the space between the two people? Realm three, the intrapsychic.

What is happening inside of each person? So that's what we're gonna do in part two of this episode.

And then part three of the episode, of course, we're going to explore how to disrupt this pattern.

I will spend a little bit of time talking directly to the partner who is in the over-functioning role, and I will offer a few self-reflection questions.

And then I will talk directly to the partner who's in the under-functioning role and give a few self-reflection questions there too, and then I'm gonna propose some relationship agreements.

And, you know, as we often do with these solo episodes, we have created a worksheet for listeners who are subscribed to the newsletter.

So you can follow the link in the show notes to subscribe to our weekly newsletter, and then you will get that worksheet in your inbox next week.Part one, let's do some defining and some operationalizing.