Ep 97: When You've Done the Work and Still Feel Stuck — On Dismantling & Self-Trust

Many of you have seen this beautiful retreat that I am part of co-hosting called Veil Fall.

And what has been flowing through around that has been just a series of in-depth writing and information that has really captivated my own heart.

way of being has really asked me to catapult my identity and my own internal dialogues and systems into a completely new form to be able to hold the amount of space and visibility and intention that it is to create an event like this.

And so part of what's been happening is this massive catalyst.

And the other part that has been happening is a dismantling.

So many of us are walking through a collective shift, a collective shifting, set aside, dismantling, where we're leaving behind pieces of our old life.

at a record speed at a rapid rate the shifts in what i've been going through in these last several months have not happened at that rate and speed in the last eight years preceding that so what's happened in the last several years especially the last several months has been some form of what feels like record speed shift letting go surrender recalibration rewire identity shift And if you're sitting there going, yeah, that's me too.

And I'm unmoored and I feel like I'm all over the place and it's chaotic and it's intense and it's messy.

Okay, listen, I hear you and I see you and it is hard.

It is maybe one of the hardest things you're gonna walk through is being at the precipice of something that you can't quite see on the horizon what's next, but you know you're supposed to just walk and you feel like you're gonna walk off a cliff at any moment.

You feel like if I take one more step, everything's gonna crumble.

I'm gonna tumble down this mountain and I'm gonna mess it all up.

And yet we do take that one step or sometimes we put a toe and then we take our foot back.

And sometimes we put a whole foot, but we don't fully step and we take it back.

And we're in this dance, this limbo with our own lives and our own self and our own trust.

And we don't realize that the magic is actually just trying to come through us and we're not letting it.

And I can only say that because I'm doing it and have done it real time for many years.

And I've been catching myself doing it now.

And so I've taken on a bit of a new energy, a new mantra.

And you'll notice the energy shift here, honestly.

Pieces of me that I've hidden away for a long time have started shifting parts of my energy my language the way it's holistically integrating and embodying after many years of maybe what was a little bit of spiritual perfectionism I don't really think it was performance because it felt embodied but I'm sure there was some degree of that for being really honest here especially if I'm being honest with myself if I just do everything good enough I'm If I just do everything right, if I meditate long enough, if I do all of the practices and rituals and cleanse everything and call in my guardians and work with my guides and talk with my higher self and rewire all of my limiting beliefs and conditions and...

Look in the mirror and do mirror work and walk and touch trees and communicate with nature and be a great mom and a great wife and a great version of me to myself.

If I just do it all the right way, everything will work out.

And the thing that I will tell you is that precisely zero things work out when I do that.

When I try to do things the right way, it almost always never works out.