Reclaiming Me: Heal Your Childhood Attachment Wounds, People Pleasing, and Complex PTSD for Women
Sep 9, 2026 · 16 min · 9 segments
Caught yourself apologizing again today? Let’s practice something different. We go deeper into Monday’s reframe, “I can hold space for myself first,” with three specific ways to practice it and a…
If you are just tuning in, then you'll want to go back and listen to Monday's full-length episode where we talked about fawning, and we've talked about fawning in some previous episodes, but I just really feel like it's one of those topics with complex PTSD that we need to revisit periodically because it can have such a strong effect in our lives and the way that we show up for ourselves and other people.
And so if you are unfamiliar with fawning, fawning is the fear response that shows up as over-apologizing and preemptive people-pleasing.
And really the reframe that we're using is, "I can hold space for myself first." It was one of the key takeaways in Monday's full-length episode that I really wanted to just expand on because I think that for me personally, that is one of the main factors that has really gotten in the way of me doing the work, is really feeling that my needs were just as valid as the other person's needs and that I came to this realization that I had been trained from early, early on as part of my fear response and conditioning that other people's needs trumped my needs, and other people's feelings and the way that they were interpreting what was happening around them was the truth, and it was the only truth, and it was the most important truth.
And that has just really, personally, if I'm being totally honest, it's robbed me of so many experiences in my life and really, um, I think stopped me from being able to make these deeper connections that I really longed for.
It's kept me in friendships where I was not really being truly valued and honored.
Um, and it has just really been one of those, I guess, responses for me that when I look back, I, I have so much, um, sadness but yet also compassion for those versions of myself where maybe I was feeling it and, and kind of suspecting something was going on, but I just wasn't really able to, uh, name it and get up close enough to it that I was brave enough to take much action about it, if that makes sense.
And so I wanted to spend a little bit time, of time today really making it practical, okay? So this is your midweek reframe, and the skill will be around practicing this idea that I can hold space for myself first.
If you are just tuning in, then you'll want to go back and listen to Monday's full-length episode where we talked about fawning, and we've talked about fawning in some previous episodes, but I just really feel like it's one of those topics with complex PTSD that we need to revisit periodically because it can have such a strong effect in our lives and the way that we show up for ourselves and other people.
And so if you are unfamiliar with fawning, fawning is the fear response that shows up as over-apologizing and preemptive people-pleasing.
And really the reframe that we're using is, "I can hold space for myself first." It was one of the key takeaways in Monday's full-length episode that I really wanted to just expand on because I think that for me personally, that is one of the main factors that has really gotten in the way of me doing the work, is really feeling that my needs were just as valid as the other person's needs and that I came to this realization that I had been trained from early, early on as part of my fear response and conditioning that other people's needs trumped my needs, and other people's feelings and the way that they were interpreting what was happening around them was the truth, and it was the only truth, and it was the most important truth.
And that has just really, personally, if I'm being totally honest, it's robbed me of so many experiences in my life and really, um, I think stopped me from being able to make these deeper connections that I really longed for.
It's kept me in friendships where I was not really being truly valued and honored.
Um, and it has just really been one of those, I guess, responses for me that when I look back, I, I have so much, um, sadness but yet also compassion for those versions of myself where maybe I was feeling it and, and kind of suspecting something was going on, but I just wasn't really able to, uh, name it and get up close enough to it that I was brave enough to take much action about it, if that makes sense.
And so I wanted to spend a little bit time, of time today really making it practical, okay? So this is your midweek reframe, and the skill will be around practicing this idea that I can hold space for myself first.
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