Don't Let Them: Why Speaking Up Creates Stronger Relationships

book? Yeah, sure.

I'd love to.

I'm a psychotherapist.

I work, I see individuals, but I do a lot of work with couples and I really love that work.

Definitely ascribe to the idea that the quality of our relationships is the quality of our life.

That's what we're, we're here to love and connect and, and be with people.

But I realized, you encouraging women to take chances in their relationship, to speak up, to say the hard thing to the person who needs to hear it, not to your sister or your friend.

Be brave.

Be courageous for yourself.

Be an advocate for yourself and your relationships.

I was over and over giving the same message to clients.

And then right then my sister, who I'm very, very close to, was going through a very, very painful divorce.

And really, as that was happening, realized how silenced she was in her marriage.

And she's the executive director of a big organization.

She is not the woman you would think couldn't speak up in her relationship.

And, and then all of the sudden my kids were getting a little older.

I was really looking at my own marriage and thinking suddenly really smacked in like cold water in the face.

Like I do this too.

I silence myself.

I silence myself in my relationship in order to not make anyone else unhappy, not rock the boat.

you know, I'm not afraid of my husband.

I don't mean it like in a threatening way, but like this idea of it's not worth the argument.

It's not worth trying to make a change.

And so I really finally was like, why, why are we all like this? Like, why are we like this? And so that really, I thought, Oh, I'm going to, I'm going to write a book, you know? And I, I think for most authors, it's like you write because you find yourself saying the same thing over and over and over again.

And so everything in this book was both hard won in my own life and things I saw over and over with clients.

book? Yeah, sure.

I'd love to.

I'm a psychotherapist.

I work, I see individuals, but I do a lot of work with couples and I really love that work.

Definitely ascribe to the idea that the quality of our relationships is the quality of our life.

That's what we're, we're here to love and connect and, and be with people.

But I realized, you encouraging women to take chances in their relationship, to speak up, to say the hard thing to the person who needs to hear it, not to your sister or your friend.

Be brave.

Be courageous for yourself.

Be an advocate for yourself and your relationships.

I was over and over giving the same message to clients.

And then right then my sister, who I'm very, very close to, was going through a very, very painful divorce.

And really, as that was happening, realized how silenced she was in her marriage.

And she's the executive director of a big organization.

She is not the woman you would think couldn't speak up in her relationship.

And, and then all of the sudden my kids were getting a little older.

I was really looking at my own marriage and thinking suddenly really smacked in like cold water in the face.

Like I do this too.

I silence myself.

I silence myself in my relationship in order to not make anyone else unhappy, not rock the boat.

you know, I'm not afraid of my husband.

I don't mean it like in a threatening way, but like this idea of it's not worth the argument.

It's not worth trying to make a change.

And so I really finally was like, why, why are we all like this? Like, why are we like this? And so that really, I thought, Oh, I'm going to, I'm going to write a book, you know? And I, I think for most authors, it's like you write because you find yourself saying the same thing over and over and over again.

And so everything in this book was both hard won in my own life and things I saw over and over with clients.