Quiet Please - ,,,,, - Be a Good Dog, Darling
Nov 4, 2026 · 12 min · 10 segments
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Nov 4, 2026 · 12 min · 10 segments
Being a dog's tough enough, isn't it? I don't suppose you ever met an encyclopedia salesman before, did you? Socially, I mean.
I may have called upon you at your home, possibly, but I doubt you'd remember me.
That's one of the secrets of success in a salesman of encyclopedias, sir.
To submerge one's own personality in the personality of the product.
No man, however impressive, can possess the sheer impact contained in those 24 volumes bound in half-Morocco, complete with index and merely supplement, and yours for only $8 a month.
What? For heaven's sake.
Excuse me.
Do excuse me.
You can understand, though, why it is that I've been something of a success in my profession.
I live, eat, drink, and
sleep
in psychopathy.
Yes, Obivia knows.
Don't you, darling? I'm not going to talk to him, my dear.
I was saying...
Oh, was I? Dear me, I seem to be getting absent-minded.
I must do something about that.
I was saying that an encyclopedia is not only a cultural thing to have around one's domicile, but it's actually useful as well as
ornamental.
One can find the most amazingly useful ideas in an encyclopedia.
Some things you'd never expect, even.
And you? Oh, my.
Oh, I'm not trying to sell you an encyclopedia, sir.
It's really after hours, although I always say that a true salesman keeps no office hours.
Being a dog's tough enough, isn't it? I don't suppose you ever met an encyclopedia salesman before, did you? Socially, I mean.
I may have called upon you at your home, possibly, but I doubt you'd remember me.
That's one of the secrets of success in a salesman of encyclopedias, sir.
To submerge one's own personality in the personality of the product.
No man, however impressive, can possess the sheer impact contained in those 24 volumes bound in half-Morocco, complete with index and merely supplement, and yours for only $8 a month.
What? For heaven's sake.
Excuse me.
Do excuse me.
You can understand, though, why it is that I've been something of a success in my profession.
I live, eat, drink, and
sleep
in psychopathy.
Yes, Obivia knows.
Don't you, darling? I'm not going to talk to him, my dear.
I was saying...
Oh, was I? Dear me, I seem to be getting absent-minded.
I must do something about that.
I was saying that an encyclopedia is not only a cultural thing to have around one's domicile, but it's actually useful as well as
ornamental.
One can find the most amazingly useful ideas in an encyclopedia.
Some things you'd never expect, even.
And you? Oh, my.
Oh, I'm not trying to sell you an encyclopedia, sir.
It's really after hours, although I always say that a true salesman keeps no office hours.
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