The Matriarchy Would Never Say One Thing and Do Another

A CPA once looked at how I run my business and said, “You spend way more per client than most other people running these types of businesses.” And I said, “Yep, I’m fine with that.” That one exchange is what a values-driven business looks like on a spreadsheet. After four episodes of *The Matriarchy Would Never* taking apart the standard playbook (the safety net we’re all expected to be, patriarchy in pink, the persuasion tactics, and leaving yourself out of your own plan), you’ve probably been thinking, “Okay, Rach, what do I actually do with this information?” So I’m going first. I’m walking you through five decisions I made inside The CEO Collective®, one in each area of the 90 Day CEO Operating System® (vision, values, leadership, team, and client experience), and exactly what each one cost me. Saying no to conferences and travel when my kids were babies and toddlers. Paying my team as generously as I can when so much small business advice is about finding the cheapest person for the job. Staying in the delivery of my programs so every single question gets answered, instead of cherry-picking during the live Q&A. **Every one of these decisions cost me something – revenue, sales, sometimes credibility with people who measure success differently than I do – and they’re the reason I’m still here almost 20 years in.** Because when a business runs on the patriarchal default, someone always absorbs the cost when things go wrong, and it’s usually whoever has the least power. Your team member. Your client. Or you, in the years you can’t get back. This isn’t a template (*your business is not my business!*). It’s my thought process, so you can take the questions instead of my answers, starting with the one I now run on every big decision: who absorbs the cost if this goes wrong? What You’ll Learn in This Episode → Why I walked away from the typical MBA career track in 2008, and how I defined success for my life before I ever started this business → How I revisit my vision every few years by asking what season of life and business I’m in (including the season I had to take care of my mom), and why my growth trajectory will never be growth at all costs → The five core values we use as decision-making criteria inside The CEO Collective®, right down to our policies and terms and conditions, and why I credit Erica Courdae and India Jackson for teaching me how to build values you can run a business on → Why we work exclusively with women (all women), and what happened every time I let men into the room → How I stopped over-functioning at work and at home, and why saying no more often is how I make time for my hobbies, my health, girls’ trips, and my family → Why I pay my team as generously as I can, a lesson I learned from my dad, who has run his business for over 45 years → Kitchen Party Vibes: how I design my client experience like a host, and why I’m always involved in delivering my programs Key Concepts from the Episode **Define Success for Your Life Before You Build the Business.** In 2008 Racheal had every outside marker of success and a front-row seat to the men 20 years further down the same track, working 80-hour weeks with no idea who their kids’ doctor was. So she defined success across life and lifestyle, health, relationships, fun and creativity, and spirituality before she started, and she revisits it every few years as the season changes. > If an opportunity is only kind of a fit, it’s not a fit. Run it against your definition of success, and if it’s not a hell yeah, it’s a hell no! **Values Are the Rules of the Road.** Your vision is where you’re headed. Your values decide how you behave and how you make decisions on the way there. Racheal’s five values are public on her About page, and every policy, the terms and conditions, and the whole client experience gets run through them. > If your values only live on your website, they’re not doing their job yet. Pull them out the next time you make a big decision or write a new policy, and ask if it’s in alignment! **Stop Over-Functioning and Start Protecting the Asset.** Women are trained to do more than they need to, at work and at home, which shows up as scope creep, a maxed-out calendar, and carrying the whole mental load. Self-leadership starts with better boundaries, fiercely protecting your time and energy, and saying no a lot more than you say yes. > Protect the asset – the asset is YOU. Making sure your needs are met isn’t taking anything away from anyone else, it’s how you keep meeting their needs, too. **Pay Your People Like You Value Them.** Asking how little you can pay someone to get your needs met is an extractive mindset, and people can feel it. Paying as generously as you can attracts more qualified, more talented people who stay for years and bring their best work. > When you take care of people, your people take care of you. If you’re shopping for the cheapest person you can find, don’t be surprised when nobody sticks around! **Host Your Clients Like a Kitchen Party.** Most programs pour everything into getting people through the door. Racheal designs from the other end: orient people, build the container with clear expectations and onboarding, connect them to each other, and only then start the transformation work. > Don’t spend all your energy marketing and selling to get people through the door and then forget to be a good host once they’re inside your house. Resources Mentioned The CEO Ceiling Assessment. If you heard the over-functioning section and thought, that’s me, this is where we find out exactly where your buffer is missing. Fifty minutes, live and free, and you score five capacity domains green, yellow, or red as we go. Tuesday, October 20 at 12PM ET, and you get the replay if you register. Our core values. All five values Racheal walks through in this episode, *life before business*, *we are the new economy*, *in women we trust*, *we are stronger together*, and *human first, always*, are public on our About page. Our AI statement. The newest value, and the clear guidelines behind how we will and won’t use AI in a relationship-driven business. Erica Courdae and India Jackson. The two people Racheal credits with teaching her how to build values that work as real decision-making criteria, not words picked from a word bank. The On-Demand CEO Retreat. If you want to take the vision work from this episode into an actual plan for your next 90 days, the on-demand version is the place to start. The CEO Collective®. The membership where service-based, high-trust, relationship-driven business owners install the 90 Day CEO Operating System®, inside the kitchen-party culture you heard about in this episode. The Matriarchy Would Never Assume You Are The Safety Net. Episode 1, where the series starts, and the safety net Racheal comes back to in the leadership section. The Matriarchy Would Never Sell You Patriarchy in Pink. Episode 2, on business advice sold back to women in the language of empowerment. The Matriarchy Would Never Shut Down Your Critical Thinking. Episode 3, the persuasion playbook and the line between marketing and manipulation. The Matriarchy Would Never Leave You Out Of Your Own Business Plan. Episode 4, with the definition of success exercise Racheal refers back to in the vision section. If you haven’t done it yet, grab a pen and start there! **Connect with Me:** - Instagram: @racheal.cook - TikTok: @rachealcookmba - LinkedIn: @rachealcook - YouTube: @the\ceo\collective - Website: The CEO Collective **Subscribe & Review:** If you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! 🎤 Thanks for listening! I'll see you next week!