Laura Sicola- Why Talking Isn’t the Same As Communicating

Um, one of the questions that one of our listeners sent in a little while ago, and it's such a common one at the, at the foundation for everyone, is that, uh, what is the biggest communication challenge or what's the biggest barrier people experience to good communication? And [laughs] my favorite quote to answer that question is that, "The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

Mm-hmm.

And people say, "Well, I, I was clear.

I told him exactly what the answer was.

I told him exactly what to do.

Why didn't he get it? Why didn't she do it?" Et cetera.

Well, you might have said something, but it doesn't mean that what was communicated is that actual thing.

So today I thought we'd dig into that and look at how to close that gap.

Yeah, and you've got several points we're going to, uh, attempt to cover.

Why don't you give us a panoramic overview of those and dig deeper as time permits?

Absolutely.

So the big reason why we, people don't get what it is that we're trying to communicate nine times out of 10 is because we start the conversation from the wrong perspective.

Um, we need to think in terms of there's three levels of impact that we have in every conversation, and if we don't plan that first, we're not gonna hit them.

And then there's four key questions that we have to ask ourselves before figuring out how to convey that message to ensure that they hear both our content and the intent of the message.

So we're gonna go over all of those today.

Very good.

Good.

Let's start with number one.

Yes.

So think of it this way, that when you are in a conversation or doing a presentation with someone, it's like taking them on a road trip.

You're in the driver's seat, and at best they're a passenger, at worst they're a hostage.

So, [laughs] so you wanna make sure that you're getting on the road with them with a clear destination that you've put in the GPS, 'cause if you don't, you meander, they don't know where you're going, and by the end, neither one of you likes where you end up.

So the destination that you wanna put in is the three levels of impact, which is how do you want them to feel, what do you need them to think, and what do you need them to do, or how do you need them to respond and by when? So if you can't explicitly answer all three of those things for yourself, you don't have a destination for where you wanna go.

You just have a topic.

You're gonna data dump, you're gonna vent, and that's the problem most people have.

Um, one of the questions that one of our listeners sent in a little while ago, and it's such a common one at the, at the foundation for everyone, is that, uh, what is the biggest communication challenge or what's the biggest barrier people experience to good communication? And [laughs] my favorite quote to answer that question is that, "The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

Mm-hmm.

And people say, "Well, I, I was clear.

I told him exactly what the answer was.

I told him exactly what to do.

Why didn't he get it? Why didn't she do it?" Et cetera.

Well, you might have said something, but it doesn't mean that what was communicated is that actual thing.

So today I thought we'd dig into that and look at how to close that gap.

Yeah, and you've got several points we're going to, uh, attempt to cover.

Why don't you give us a panoramic overview of those and dig deeper as time permits?

Absolutely.

So the big reason why we, people don't get what it is that we're trying to communicate nine times out of 10 is because we start the conversation from the wrong perspective.

Um, we need to think in terms of there's three levels of impact that we have in every conversation, and if we don't plan that first, we're not gonna hit them.

And then there's four key questions that we have to ask ourselves before figuring out how to convey that message to ensure that they hear both our content and the intent of the message.

So we're gonna go over all of those today.

Very good.

Good.

Let's start with number one.

Yes.

So think of it this way, that when you are in a conversation or doing a presentation with someone, it's like taking them on a road trip.

You're in the driver's seat, and at best they're a passenger, at worst they're a hostage.

So, [laughs] so you wanna make sure that you're getting on the road with them with a clear destination that you've put in the GPS, 'cause if you don't, you meander, they don't know where you're going, and by the end, neither one of you likes where you end up.

So the destination that you wanna put in is the three levels of impact, which is how do you want them to feel, what do you need them to think, and what do you need them to do, or how do you need them to respond and by when? So if you can't explicitly answer all three of those things for yourself, you don't have a destination for where you wanna go.

You just have a topic.

You're gonna data dump, you're gonna vent, and that's the problem most people have.