I Don’t Need Mormonism to Be Wrong Anymore

Um, I think I've actually become more appreciative of certain aspects of the, the church and Mormon culture and, uh, maybe in general more open to religion, and, uh, that's kind of surprised me.

Um, when I first moved back to Utah, there were things about being surrounded by the Mormon culture that were difficult, things that I noticed, um, things that bothered me and kind of brought up old emotions.

And I think when you've gone through, like, a major belief transition, that's probably pretty normal.

For a while, you kinda notice everything.

Um, but o- over time, I've started to notice something different.

Instead of only seeing things that I disagree with, I'm becoming better at seeing the things that I genuinely appreciate.

Um, [lips smack] there was, there was a day that I think I had maybe sent a message or had a conversation with someone where I kind of compli- I, I had made a complaint about, you know, some very sp...

I think this is what it was.

It was, uh, general conference had been, uh, had, and I, like probably several of us that have left the church, saw just, like, maybe one or two clips that, you know, as a, someone that, that's left the church could kinda pick up on and say, "Oh, my gosh.

Can you believe this message?" And, um, I recognized that in myself, and I thought, "You know what? This is relatively, uh, critical and kind of hypocritical," um, because I'm, I'm kind of just pointing out, just I'm, I'm cherry-picking the, the worst aspects that I can find, uh, in a way to make myself maybe feel better about my position of having left the church.

And so, after I recognized that, I thought, "You know what? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna watch, uh, just, like, a YouTube video of somebody's recap of, of conference, and I'm gonna write down...

I'm gonna take notes, and I'm only gonna take notes on things that I think are really good focuses and really good principles." And I did that, and it was interesting.

It was, it was a very interesting exercise because, uh, I...

There was a lot of really good things.

There just were good focuses, good principles, good, um, activities.

Um, and so it, it was such a good exercise to me because it was like, uh, I almost found myself saying to myself in my head, "Wow, Derek, you purposely just picked the worst aspects, um, when there's so much good here." And, you know, there's things that, you know, I personally have heard people, like, basically, like, maybe they might look up to someone, and then once they find something bad about that person, they just disregard everything that that person has ever said now, and, like, they can't look up to them in any way.

And this is where, uh, you know, you often hear that phrase, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater." Um, and so essentially, no matter where things come from, there are things to be learned, and it's very easy to pass those opportunities by and to write them off.

Um, but if we really are interested in growing the, in the best way possible, uh, we can, we can find those gold nuggets, um, in pretty much anywhere.

So, uh, there are things, in general, what I'm saying is, you know, there are things that in the culture that I think are just so good.

Uh, I think the community aspect, the focus on family, service, uh, commitment, um, you know, being honest with your, your fellow man, um, you know, and trying to, like, really live those values, um, and having something bigger than yourself that you're committed to.

Um, so all these things are really good.

Obviously, I don't suddenly believe the truth claims of the church again, but I don't...

I also don't feel the need to dismiss everything associated with the church simply because I don't believe those claims, and that's been a, a really healthy development for me.