Parenting: How to get rid of soothers?

My 15 year old has had constant daily tantrums lately.

It's always when I say no to him.

But it could be no to something very minor and he'll have a complete meltdown.

My parent says I'm too soft on him, but I think he's too young for discipline.

I don't know how to broach discipline when he's really just a baby.

Any advice?

I mean, he is just a baby.

You know, 15 months is so young.

And one of the main things that is both enlightening and frustrating in equal measure about parenting 15-month-olds is you can't discipline them in the way that you can't consequence behaviour.

because they're 15 months old, like they haven't, like you're just concocting yourself or driving yourself nuts trying to do that.

However, meaningful discipline aims to teach the behavior you want to see rather than punish behavior you don't want to see.

You can start that from the very, very beginning.

So when he's doing something and of many things he's going to do it's a gentle yet firm no like you come down to his level take his little hands when you come down to his level so you're not at the perfect height for a slap keep his hands in yours give them a little rub or just sway them gently side to side gentle yet firm no then redirection and distraction towards the thing you'd like him to do because when this parent is saying it could be something minor that he's saying no to

Nothing is minor

for a 15 month old.

Yes.

Everything is a big deal.

So everything is over and above and they have such limited range of expression.

They can't speak.

I mean, words are probably sounds at this stage and only emerging sounds.

With a couple of sounds and words that have meaning, you're thinking those phonemes.

So he might be doing a bit of a no or a sound of that effect, or he'll have his own version of that.

But it's more when you say no, it is you saying, I am putting a boundary in place.

That is your job as parent.

His job as child is to test and defy that limit.