Parenting: Daughter has irrational fears

Uh, "My toddler is almost three years old, and for the last nine months, he has shown a strong favoritism towards his dad.

His dad is wonderful with him, perhaps slightly softer, more patient than I am, but generally we're similar in our parenting.

Mostly I try to get on with it.

We have a new baby, now two months old, but she's very good, and I still have a lot of time to spend with my toddler.

Generally, when we play together, he's usually happy with me, but once he doesn't get his way, he goes screaming for Daddy, which makes me feel a bit inadequate.

My problem is handling my own emotions with him when he rejects me.

When he wakes in the middle of the night, most nights, and in the morning, he always screams for Daddy and runs to him.

I try, uh, to stay calm with a gentle voice, reassuring him that I love him and it's Mommy's turn to get him, but usually he goes ballistic, screaming and yelling at me to go away.

I can't even cuddle him or hold him to comfort him.

I'm finding this very hard.

A combination of tiredness isn't helping, but it's been going on for quite a while now, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

It, it had eased up, uh, for a few weeks, and I thought we were coming through it, but in recent days it's been the same again.

I find it very upsetting.

Hmm.

At times, I want to give in to his demands of me to go away and just let his dad take over, which I then feel terrible about and don't feel is right either.

Any advice would be welcome."

Ah.

Like, first of all, you're eight weeks postpartum, and just give yourself permission-

Yeah

... to feel all of the feelings.

Don't be trying to, "Oh, have my right to feel this way.

Am I wrong?" Just feel how you're feeling.

Everything is okay eight weeks postpartum.

And, you know, then what I'm gonna tell you is it's likely your toddler feels...

Now this is different 'cause I'm hearing this parent say, "Look, yes, I have this baby, but actually I'm managing, and I do have plenty of time with my toddler." But it's still likely that your toddler feels that you're more preoccupied than you were.