Parenting Neurodivergent Humans
Aug 11, 2026 · 20 min · 9 segments
Today, we are talking about what to do when things with your kid are feeling off. Maybe every little thing feels like a battle, or they are having more meltdowns than usual, or they are acting out and…
Morgan BeidlemanHostBrianne ColpittsHost
First, let's step back and try to understand what is happening under the surface of this cycle.
We're seeing the outward experience of the dysregulation, which often looks like behavior.
It looks like, you know, a kid throwing a toy or saying something mean or getting obstinate or whatever it is, and we know we make the move to consequence.
And then if that isn't working, right, if it didn't work, that's a really good way to know that your kid was not boundary testing and they didn't need you to toe the line.
They actually needed something else because the consequence didn't work, right? So that's usually a good indication that we need to take a look and figure out what's happening under the surface so that we don't get stuck in this cycle.
And it is normal for us to see increased emotionality that happens at certain ages, for example, like up through really, like, 14, 15 in, in where I spend a lot of my time.
Parents tend to get it the worst, siblings second worst or, you know, some combination therein.
I don't know any child who's looking real great in May, you know? [laughs] So there are certain times of the year that can be particularly hard.
I was just reading something the other day, this story about a teenager who was doing really well and then all of a sudden was getting into all sorts of trouble, and he was on this trajectory to be in a really good place in a sport that he was playing and then all of a sudden he started doing a lot of stuff that was pretty out of character and immediately people thought substances, right? And so they were, like, consequencing him and doing all this stuff.
And so the idea of being successful, there's gonna be a ceiling to that at some point, which means that at some point he's gonna let people down, and in his mind he was like, "I'm gonna just let them down now." And so I think that's a- another really good example of this where you might try the consequence, doesn't work.
First, let's step back and try to understand what is happening under the surface of this cycle.
We're seeing the outward experience of the dysregulation, which often looks like behavior.
It looks like, you know, a kid throwing a toy or saying something mean or getting obstinate or whatever it is, and we know we make the move to consequence.
And then if that isn't working, right, if it didn't work, that's a really good way to know that your kid was not boundary testing and they didn't need you to toe the line.
They actually needed something else because the consequence didn't work, right? So that's usually a good indication that we need to take a look and figure out what's happening under the surface so that we don't get stuck in this cycle.
And it is normal for us to see increased emotionality that happens at certain ages, for example, like up through really, like, 14, 15 in, in where I spend a lot of my time.
Parents tend to get it the worst, siblings second worst or, you know, some combination therein.
I don't know any child who's looking real great in May, you know? [laughs] So there are certain times of the year that can be particularly hard.
I was just reading something the other day, this story about a teenager who was doing really well and then all of a sudden was getting into all sorts of trouble, and he was on this trajectory to be in a really good place in a sport that he was playing and then all of a sudden he started doing a lot of stuff that was pretty out of character and immediately people thought substances, right? And so they were, like, consequencing him and doing all this stuff.
And so the idea of being successful, there's gonna be a ceiling to that at some point, which means that at some point he's gonna let people down, and in his mind he was like, "I'm gonna just let them down now." And so I think that's a- another really good example of this where you might try the consequence, doesn't work.
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3 of 8
Getting Through the Suck
Support helps endure what cannot be changed
The Fear of Success
Sometimes self-sabotage hides an unexpected fear underneath
When Consequences Fail
When consequences fail, the real problem surfaces
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