Own The Room: How to Control Perception, Read the Room, and Win High Stakes Conversations
Aug 13, 2026 · 34 min · 13 segments
Everyone's heard the word mindfulness. Most people picture someone in a robe on a mountaintop. What it actually looks like in a boardroom, a sales call, or a difficult conversation at home is…
Clayton PlattGuest
Jake StahlHost
The first thing I want to do is, you know, everybody's heard the word mindfulness, and I think a lot of people picture some guy in a robe sitting on a mountain, legs crossed, you know, just looking out and meditating.
I have a definition that I use that really came from Jon Kabat-Zinn, and he basically says, you know, "Mindfulness is just being in the moment, the present moment..." I'm paraphrasing, but, "Being in the present moment, breath by breath, without judgment, just knowing you're there." That's basically, to me, how that translates into everyday life.
So if you're talking about being in a boardroom, it means, in essence, being conscious of what's being said, having the self-awareness to know what you're saying, how that may land, right? And how, you, you know, making sure that how you verbalize things are going to achieve what you want to have them achieve.
So the awareness is, how do people respond to me, and what am I checking out about, as I've said, can I see their reactions? Can I see how they change their posture, whatever? And so in a boardroom, it's really about what do you want to have accomplished, and have you, in essence, verbalized things in such a way that you can get there.
Otherwise, in, in real life, it's, you know, taking that moment to pause [laughs]...
... and, and that's, that to me is, in many respects, it's the basis of mindfulness, is really taking that moment to say, "Wait, life is coming at me, but can I take a breath before I say something, before I do something that I'm gonna regret?"
It, in many respects, our ability, to me, in whatever we're doing, so if it's at work, if it's in the boardroom, if it's at home, whether we're, like, picking up our phone and going, "Oh, I'm bored," it's like, you know, if we can feel what's happening inside us that's in effent- evidencing boredom, we're gonna know, we're gonna respond to that.
And what we do when we're bored is we try to find some way to stimulate ourselves.
So it really does come back, as you used that expression, Jake, self-regulation.
And s- to me, the self-regulation begins by noticing what's occurring inside, and those, those feelings, those feelings are the evidence, because that's where things start.
The first thing I want to do is, you know, everybody's heard the word mindfulness, and I think a lot of people picture some guy in a robe sitting on a mountain, legs crossed, you know, just looking out and meditating.
I have a definition that I use that really came from Jon Kabat-Zinn, and he basically says, you know, "Mindfulness is just being in the moment, the present moment..." I'm paraphrasing, but, "Being in the present moment, breath by breath, without judgment, just knowing you're there." That's basically, to me, how that translates into everyday life.
So if you're talking about being in a boardroom, it means, in essence, being conscious of what's being said, having the self-awareness to know what you're saying, how that may land, right? And how, you, you know, making sure that how you verbalize things are going to achieve what you want to have them achieve.
So the awareness is, how do people respond to me, and what am I checking out about, as I've said, can I see their reactions? Can I see how they change their posture, whatever? And so in a boardroom, it's really about what do you want to have accomplished, and have you, in essence, verbalized things in such a way that you can get there.
Otherwise, in, in real life, it's, you know, taking that moment to pause [laughs]...
... and, and that's, that to me is, in many respects, it's the basis of mindfulness, is really taking that moment to say, "Wait, life is coming at me, but can I take a breath before I say something, before I do something that I'm gonna regret?"
It, in many respects, our ability, to me, in whatever we're doing, so if it's at work, if it's in the boardroom, if it's at home, whether we're, like, picking up our phone and going, "Oh, I'm bored," it's like, you know, if we can feel what's happening inside us that's in effent- evidencing boredom, we're gonna know, we're gonna respond to that.
And what we do when we're bored is we try to find some way to stimulate ourselves.
So it really does come back, as you used that expression, Jake, self-regulation.
And s- to me, the self-regulation begins by noticing what's occurring inside, and those, those feelings, those feelings are the evidence, because that's where things start.
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