Feb 20, 2026 · 55 min · 16 segments
Managing up is not about flattery. It’s about influence, and taking control of your career before someone else does. Order Now the Book: Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in…
Melody WildingGuestKwame ChristianHostAshleySimon
We're going to talk about managing up, yes, which is a really valuable skill set that you need now more than ever when work is very complex, things are changing all of the time.
But fundamentally, this is about you reclaiming a sense of agency and control at work and confidence in what you have to offer, instead of just feeling like you're being jerked around by the whims or the personalities of people around you, to feel like you have more power to influence and shape these dynamics and situations than you may think.
Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go deeper on that, because so many people today feel powerless, just in general for so many different reasons.
The world, the news is stressful, and it feels like we can't do anything about it.
Yes, because w- just like you were saying, that was one of the main reasons I decided to write this book, because I came across two stats that were really shocking and even somewhat unacceptable to me.
And the first of those was that since the pandemic, the number of people that do not feel in control of their relationships at work, the future of their careers, has more than doubled.
W- who wants to feel like you're a victim in that situation? That's not what we humans are built for.
That, combined with the fact that studies have found that your manager, your direct boss, has more impact on your mental health and well-being more than your doctor, your therapist, and almost as much as your spouse.
Yet so much of us just kind of float through every day complaining about these dynamics or not even paying attention to that relationship, yet it's such a huge part of our lives.
And so this is really about how do you communicate more powerfully? How do you influence, persuade to not just get what you want, that's really important, but also find greater peace of mind so you're not as stressed, you're not taking your manager or other leadership's responses to you personally.
You can put your head on the pillow at night feeling good about the contribution you made and feeling like, "I'm actually getting the recognition, the respect that, that I want and also I feel like I deserve."
My goodness, that's shocking, and honestly kind of terrifying, especially when you think about the, the satisfaction that people typically feel at work.
And really, what people might assume when they read the book Managing Up, they think about it in terms of, "How can I tell my boss that they're wrong [laughs] and they need to change?" Or, "How can I improve my career and get what I deserve?" But it sounds like this is much more than this.
We're going to talk about managing up, yes, which is a really valuable skill set that you need now more than ever when work is very complex, things are changing all of the time.
But fundamentally, this is about you reclaiming a sense of agency and control at work and confidence in what you have to offer, instead of just feeling like you're being jerked around by the whims or the personalities of people around you, to feel like you have more power to influence and shape these dynamics and situations than you may think.
Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go deeper on that, because so many people today feel powerless, just in general for so many different reasons.
The world, the news is stressful, and it feels like we can't do anything about it.
Yes, because w- just like you were saying, that was one of the main reasons I decided to write this book, because I came across two stats that were really shocking and even somewhat unacceptable to me.
And the first of those was that since the pandemic, the number of people that do not feel in control of their relationships at work, the future of their careers, has more than doubled.
W- who wants to feel like you're a victim in that situation? That's not what we humans are built for.
That, combined with the fact that studies have found that your manager, your direct boss, has more impact on your mental health and well-being more than your doctor, your therapist, and almost as much as your spouse.
Yet so much of us just kind of float through every day complaining about these dynamics or not even paying attention to that relationship, yet it's such a huge part of our lives.
And so this is really about how do you communicate more powerfully? How do you influence, persuade to not just get what you want, that's really important, but also find greater peace of mind so you're not as stressed, you're not taking your manager or other leadership's responses to you personally.
You can put your head on the pillow at night feeling good about the contribution you made and feeling like, "I'm actually getting the recognition, the respect that, that I want and also I feel like I deserve."
My goodness, that's shocking, and honestly kind of terrifying, especially when you think about the, the satisfaction that people typically feel at work.
And really, what people might assume when they read the book Managing Up, they think about it in terms of, "How can I tell my boss that they're wrong [laughs] and they need to change?" Or, "How can I improve my career and get what I deserve?" But it sounds like this is much more than this.
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