Reactive Abuse

So reactive abuse is a manipulation tactic, most specifically used by narcissistic abusers.

And the intention is getting victims to react out of character.

And the intention is to attempt to paint them as crazy, dysfunctional, and abusive based on this reaction.

Now, this specific abuse tactic is used with the intention of deflecting from the abuse of the narcissistic abuser.

And this is where they will shift blame to the victim based on their reactive behavior.

Because if a narcissistic abuser can cause a victim to react this way, chaotically, impulsively, reactively, then they can ultimately shift the blame and responsibility and accountability onto the victim and thus avoid responsibility for the abuse that they are enacting.

Now, this is a particularly dangerous form of abuse because narcissistic abusers will continuously study weaknesses, soft points, blind spots, triggers, and meticulously push those slowly and subtly in ways that are very deniable and very hard to pick up on.

And victims will feel themselves getting more and more angry, frustrated, pent up, and feeling reactive until finally realizing They explode, they react, which is a very natural human reaction to being manipulated, to being exploited.

And victims will explode finally, right? Not realizing that they haven't actually meticulously pushed to their limit.

And once the narcissistic abuser gets their victim to chaotically emotionally react, then that is right where the narcissistic abuser wants their victim to be.

Because in this state, they can then point to the reaction and say, hey, listen, you're the cause.

And then the victim feels like they need to apologize.

That gets them in a very defensive stance and it gets them emotionally chaotic and unstable.

And this is a much more ideal state for someone to be abused in and ultimately why the narcissistic abuser is trying to get their victims continuously in this state.

Now, you may ask why a narcissistic abuser feels the need to manipulate a reaction out of their abuser.

It seems a little bit strange, but ultimately, if we can understand that a narcissistic abuser needs their victim's emotions, they need their negative emotions, you could say they feed off it as a narcissistic supply, and so their emotional reactivity out of victims is the way they get that supply, so to speak.

The reactivity is fuel for their false identity.

And once we know this, once we can see that that is the intention, it'll become more obvious why they're choosing to manipulate and ultimately get their reactions out of their victims.

Now, we are aware that narcissistic abusers are drowning in their own unresolved past emotions, negative emotions, and feel continuously, consistently, and at all times, essentially completely out of control inwardly.

So by being able to manipulate victims and get a reaction on tap, so to speak, then they will be able to feel, to soothe these feelings of shame, of powerlessness, and ultimately feel a sense of control because they are in control of their victim's emotions.

So it's a sense of feeling powerful through gaining reactivity and controlling and manipulating the victim's emotions that soothes these feelings of powerlessness, feelings out of control, and shame that are going on inwardly.

So reactive abuse is incredibly cruel because victims who are usually kind, right, sensitive, gentle, compassionate, caring empaths are not aware of the intention, of the underlying intention, and they're obviously not thinking along these lines and will have a very difficult time believing that a narcissistic abuser is intentionally manipulating their emotions.

And this is particularly why the abuse works, reactive abuse works, because of unawareness.

When the empath is living under the impression that, that the narcissistic abuser is, let's say, confused, unaware, wounded, and the victim continuously makes excuses for their abuser, why they're not communicating like a normal adult and why they're having a difficult time understanding them.

And ultimately, they're failing to understand that in reality, the abuser is purposely creating scenarios and maliciously trying to keep victims emotionally off balance so they can soothe feelings of being out of control.