讨厌的同事变老板，谈判实操

You know what's worse than a coworker that you hate? A coworker that you hate who's getting promoted to become your manager.

Last week, I sat with a new client who walked into that exact nightmare.

Let's call her Jen.

Jen was at her breaking point with a coworker she called Lady.

A reorg had just been proposed at their company.

And like a bad dream coming true, Lady once a peer was about to become Jen's boss.

Now, Jen has worked in product management for over five years.

She knows the workplace isn't kindergarten.

You can't raise your hand and say, Lady and I aren't friends anymore.

I don't want to play with her.

But she also knew she couldn't just swallow it.

I just want to tell my manager so badly I can take anybody as my manager, but I cannot, will not work with her.

I told her, I think you're right.

What you're planning is both valid and necessary.

But let's work out a way to tell your manager, which doesn't make you look like you're complaining.

Here's what we did.

When you want to influence someone with more authority than you, you don't walk in with demands.

You align with them first.

And you can't align with them if you don't know what they want.

So, before you make any ask, get curious.

That meant Jen's first conversation with her manager wasn't about Lady at all.

It was a set of questions.

Why did you structure the reorg this way? What are you hoping it achieves? if this goes well what's your ideal vision then she ended the meeting without pitching a single thing why because once you understand what the decision maker cares about your next job is to build an ask that works for both of you not just for you this is where most people fall apart if you lead with i don't want to work with her you sound self-centered and even worse instead of handing your manager a solution you hand them one more problem that they would love to ignore.

To move someone, you have to make them feel something.

And feeling comes from arguments that are concrete, visual, and tied to what your recipient already cares about.