MYM - Assertiveness

Can we just dig into the motivations for not wanting to let it go? So I think there's two things.

There's the very deep... instinctual thing that life is a competition and I don't want to lose I want to win and so I'm standing you know I'm standing I get off the train and look at that woman for a little bit longer than is appropriate Because I don't want her to win.

I don't want her to have forced me to have...

But the other part, that's the deep emotional part of it.

But I think the other part of it is...

I want to try and reinforce existing social norms of public transport, politeness and us looking out for each other and us being efficient.

And I want her to think, oh, maybe I did the wrong thing now so that next time she might do it a little bit differently.

That's why I justify where my kids are.

say, why'd you honk at that person in the car? I say, because I want them to think about what they did and maybe they'll do it differently next time.

But really probably the reason is I didn't want to lose.

I

wanted to make

my displeasure felt.

Yeah, there's the competitiveness aspect.

I think there's the being discounted aspect.

We don't want to be discounted.

It's not just competition.

You've been diminished by the interaction.

You've been placed in some lower social status.

I mean, queuing around the world is the most fascinating thing.

The different cultural norms about queuing.

The English love to queue properly.

You ever done this? I've done this by accident.

Mistaken a queue in the UK and people have spoken to me harshly.

And other times, I've been in other parts of the world where people don't queue at all.