Ep. 121: Why Your Marriage Isn’t Getting Better

Hey and welcome to the Married After Kids podcast.

As always, I am so happy that you are here with me and that I can chat with you about this.

My inspiration for this week's episode came from a client call that I had last week.

She was having a tougher than normal day, I'll say.

She had gotten into an argument with her spouse the night before and it just hadn't resolved yet, right? It was one of those that like not only wasn't resolved, but there'd been like a lot of additional things said and a lot of just hurt and negative feelings.

She said to me, why isn't my marriage getting better? And I cannot tell you the number of times that I thought that very same thing when my own marriage was struggling.

Like when I would try to do something I thought should work or when I kept having the same conversation.

Like why isn't my marriage getting better? Because it wasn't getting better, I had this just massive fear that would come over me.

Does that mean that we aren't meant to be? Does that mean that we're going to have to get divorced? Does that mean that I'm going to have to break up my family? Or do I have to live feeling less than happy? I would have all of these very terrifying thoughts with very terrifying consequences.

I feel like my client gave me those exact same eyes, those eyes full of fear where I knew those same terrifying thoughts with the same terrifying consequences were running through her head as well.

And when you're in that place, it's really hard to trust the process.

It's hard to keep the hope.

It's hard to stay motivated to do the healthy thing.

It's hard and it's scary and it's lonely.

And so this is what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about the actual reasons why your marriage isn't getting better and then also like what you can do about them.

We are officially heading into the summer months, which I know can put a lot of extra pressure and mental load on your plate, which means it puts a lot of extra pressure on your marriage.

And so having a healthy partnership and one that really supports you is almost more important during these next months.