Lacking Purpose Leads to Obsessing About Women

And I see this happening with men all the time.

When, when you don't have something that you are trying to build towards or grow towards, what ends up happening is that women become a fixation, and it's a different type of fantasy.

And if Jung was in this conversation, and I've studied Jung for well over a decade, he probably would've said something like, "We become, we become obsessed with the unconscious," because for Jung, the unconscious was the feminine, especially within us as men.

And so the unconscious contents that exist inside of you, all of the unknown emotions and unknown experiences and the, the unconscious memories and desires and fears and shadows and insecurities, all of those things represent this kind of inner feminine and what Jung called as the anima.

And what I see happening for so many men in the world today is that in the absence of some type of direction, some type of purpose or meaning in their life, they have become fixated on women either individually or more so as a collective.

I see a lot of young men who are obsessed with seeing women in a certain way, so much so that they don't oftentimes see the woman that they are with or the woman that they are dating or having a date with, and women become this kind of collective meme to them.

And this happens because you live in a kind of, of fantasy where getting a woman, getting a relationship, getting women's attention becomes your primary purpose.

It becomes the only game that your mind tricks you into playing.

And in some ways, what Jung would've said is that it's your unconscious mind trying to bring you on journey.

It's your unconscious mind, your anima, and for Jung, the anima was the feminine.

It's your unconscious mind trying to bring you on some type of an excursion where you step out of the confines of who you currently are right now and that you have the chance to start to define some type of meaning, some type of function, some type of purpose in your life, that your life is for something.

And in the absence of your life being meaningful or meaning-filled, in the absence of your life having some type of drive or purpose, what many men turn to is making a relationship their purpose, making a woman their purpose.

And this becomes antithetical to the health and the vitality of the relationship.

Men want a function outside of the relationship.

Even if you look at the great romances of literature and mythology, the men that are in those stories, they always embark on some type of an adventure, some type of a mission, some type of a building that is, uh, completely separate, has nothing to do with their relationship, and it is a kind of soul's calling that's pulling the masculine out into the world to build something, to discover who he is outside of the feminine.

And this is a kind of core masculine, uh, drive, a core masculine component that has been written about f- throughout the millennium, right? Throughout most cultures, throughout [laughs] pretty much every single myth.

When you look at the masculine in mythology and in story, the, the Odyssey is a very good example of this, what ends up happening is that men end up needing to go out into the world to explore, to adventure, to create, to build, to battle, to become.

And when that doesn't happen, you end up collapsing into a kind of shell of who you could be.

And I fear that for a lot of young men in today's world, they look out at the world, they look out at society, and I see it in my YouTube comments, I see it in my social media comments, and they see a world vacant of meaning, a, a world devoid of purpose, a world that is so fraught with meaninglessness that the urge and desire that exists inside of them to go out and to penetrate or to pierce the world and to do something and to create meaning and to find something meaningful seems almost pointless.

And I see a lot of men A lot of young men and a lot of men in general that see that as a pointless endeavor.

And so what they turn to is, well, maybe if I can just find some type of satisfaction in a relationship, in my marriage with a woman, then maybe, maybe I can have some type of salvation and happiness.

But this is a trap, you know, cue the Star Wars Archer trap meme, because you can't ever find the depth of meaning and purpose in a relationship.

If you try and make a woman the meaning in your life or the purpose and the function of your life, she will inevitably and eventually resent you for it.

It doesn't mean that you can't share a spectacular kind of love.

It doesn't mean that you can't deeply have a reverence for her and the relationship and have an admiration for who she is and really bask in the joy and the peace of the relationship if you're so lucky to find such a thing.