Stop Feeling Guilty for Your Boundaries

Oh hello warrior and thank you so much for clicking play on this episode how to stop feeling guilty setting boundaries.

This is something that I have practiced and practiced and practiced and continue to practice and practice and have helped so many people with this feeling of like oh my gosh I'm doing something wrong when we open our mouth and have an opinion or when we open our mouth and we finally say no or we finally do the thing that the logical part of us is like no I think it's okay to tell my neighbor that I don't like unannounced visits.

Or I think it's okay to actually tell my husband that I want to go to the Mexican restaurant this weekend, not his favorite sushi restaurant.

Or I think it's okay to tell my teen that I'm not going to drop everything and go to the mall with them right now.

Okay.

There is a part of you possibly that knows, that thinks that's okay.

And if you don't think that's okay, I can tell you as a coach, it is 100% okay.

Those are 100% reasonable things to say as part of our relationships.

And yet I can also tell you that saying those things, saying those 100% reasonable things will 100% feel uncomfortable to you.

As we're working to break out of our codependent and enmeshed systems, those things are going to feel uncomfortable and I want to teach you today some things to get comfortable with that discomfort so that we can grow and be in those healthy relationships.

When you say those things, it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel like you're gonna vomit in your mouth.

Been there, get that, all right? And I bet you've tried this before.

Maybe like, I'm just wondering if you can sit and pause and be like, what's your system? Maybe you listen to a self-development podcast like this, or you watch a reel on like Facebook or Instagram and TikTok and you feel inspired and you're like, okay, okay, that feels reasonable.

I can do that.

And maybe we even get to the point where you open your mouth and say the thing, right? You say it out loud.

Well, what do they do? I will tell you that at the very least, those people are surprised.

They're used to the old you.

They're used to the old dance.

You're changing the dance steps.

Okay, so at the very least, they're surprised.

They're gonna have some nonverbal like eye raises.

More reasonably and realistically, they will push back.

They will question you.

They might be annoyed.

And what I'm here today to help you see is that this makes sense.