S6-E06 Laws of Attraction (with Dr. Ty Mansfield)

I'm not even sure if I answered your question.

No, I feel like you answered it well.

And I like the idea of the erotic and the domestic.

And Esther Perel's book, Mating in Captivity, talks so much about that.

It's an excellent book.

So I guess my last question, how much does attraction and all these domains of attraction have to do with real love? Not the falling in love, but with real love, that love that's going to be about domestic attachment flavored with the erotic and things.

Maybe it depends on which domain we're talking about and where does love kind of flow out from or what makes it easier, what creates a kind of a more gentle space to nurture love.

Yeah.

You know, because I mean, if we take Jesus at his word that we are to love our enemies, right, then love, there's a capacity for love that is choice and that is heart, right? Right.

When these other domains of attraction are there, it's a kind of a gentler, softer space to practice love and to nurture love.

And I think certainly the dopamine and the oxytocin and the norepinephrine, all those things can make that kind of a more exciting venture.

And I think that also as we grow in love...

I also think, you know, because certainly people, as they get into really deep conflicts in their relationship or if there's betrayal or violations of trust, you know, they can become less attractive to you regardless of how attracted you were initially.

And I think the opposite is true.

As you are nurturing safety and trust and you feel seen and you feel known and people can become that much more beautiful, right? When we kind of see them in their fullness and in their maturity and all of that, and I think that can, you know, it becomes a sort of symbiotic relationship.

But in those domains, I think certainly romantic, you know, as we deepen in love in that the vulnerability of love and take risks with each other, I think that can increase intimacy.

romantic flavors of relationship.

I think that can increase passion and erotic desire.

So again, there's a real kind of symbiotic nature to all of this.

They each still kind of operate on their own terms, but they can certainly come together in a way that's really

Harmonizing.

Is that what you're saying?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.