7 Reasons He Won't Get Off the Couch | #210

Let's talk about a belief that can be keeping you stuck.

This circumstance, the dishwasher, was exactly what Carol was living with.

Carol's read was much like any other spouse's.

He's not engaged.

He doesn't care.

He's saying he'll do something to placate me or get me off of his back.

But here's what Carol didn't know yet as she was standing there looking at the half-unloaded dishwasher.

The dishwasher was not the root cause.

It was the symptom.

There are seven different things that can be happening together.

underneath all of it, and it's neurological, that results in the same kind of scene.

It can show up regardless of location because the wiring in the brain is complex.

And if aphasia is part of your house too, these seven areas can add complexity that just is super frustrating.

The most important takeaway is that guessing what is wrong can really cost you in your relationship, your ability to connect and to communicate.

So every day a wife misreads what is happening with her husband is one more day of resentment, of carrying all of this alone.

And it's about building a case against him that's really not his fault.

So let's dig into the brain.

Here's what's happening.

And before we get into our seven areas, I encourage you to grab a pen and a tablet and take some notes because there's going to be words in here that you've never heard before, concepts that are unfamiliar, and it's going to take a little bit of time to unpack them.

You're going to hear me use a couple of words as I describe each one of these seven areas.

The first is tell, and the second is question.

A tell in poker is the small involuntary thing someone does that gives away what's really going on, even when they're not saying it.

That's what we're watching for here too.

It's not what he says.

It's the small consistent signs that tell you which of these seven areas you are actually looking at.