Ep 39 - 'I Want To Get Married, But My Boyfriend Wants To Buy'

Tell me about the car.

I was like, this sounds like good podcast content.

You wait till Tuesday morning and you tell me about this car.

Okay, right.

So it was a year since we got engaged.

It was so exciting.

And obviously it's the last... it's the only anniversary we'll have of it before we get married so I was like you did the proposal let me plan a little getaway and I was planning a million different bits and pieces originally because we're going down to Brighton on the Friday for Chloe's 30th on the Saturday and

the

anniversary was on the Sunday so I said on Sunday we'll go somewhere from Brighton And it'll be a nice little surprise trip.

I was thinking maybe we'd fly somewhere because we have to go through Gatwick anyway.

But then obviously the heat has been so intense everywhere.

I was like, maybe we'll stay here.

So I was looking at a whole bunch of different options.

And I said, right, we're going to go to Oxford.

There's this really cool hotel called the Crazy Bear.

There's one in Standhampton, which is like... less than half an hour from Oxford Centre.

So I was between going to one of the crazy bears and going to Oxford or going to do this vineyard and dorking.

And I was like, well, if we're doing the vineyard, obviously I'm not going to drive.

So through the jigs and the reels, looking at different train prices and everything, I said, let's just rent a car, rent a car, drive to Brighton.

We can go down for a swim in the morning.

Then we can be in our wet clothes, driving down to Oxford, lovely chats in the car, Plan everything out.

We'll stay in this hotel that's half an hour from Oxford, which you wouldn't have stayed in if we didn't have the car because why would you stay so far from the city unless you had a car to drive so you could go in and out.

I leave the house at 2.30.

It is so hot.

I go up to the address on booking.com where it said to collect the car and it says it's it.

We are in the Hilton Hotel on Edgeware Road.

So I'm like, OK, great.

So I'm in the Hilton Hotel, cannot find it.

I'm thinking, OK, obviously it has a desk somewhere in the Hilton.

So I'm kind of in different queues to chat to different people.

And eventually someone was like, oh, no, it's actually out and around the corner.

So I was like, OK, it's not in the hotel.

It is near the hotel.

fine so I'm about 15 minutes late the door is locked and it says yeah and it says if any if like if you need anyone call this number

so I was like okay this is annoying also you're 15 minutes late one five one five one five maybe maybe 18 maybe 18

at this

point I'm gonna round it up

to 20

you're 20 minutes late

maybe 20 minutes late so I say right I call I call the man I say I'm outside.

And he was like, okay, I'll be there in a second.

And I was like, okay, great.

15 minutes go by.

Yeah.

No one is there.

It is so hot.

I'm standing in this baking sun waiting for this man.

And then eventually he rocks up and he's like, oh, you're joking.

He locked the door.

What? And I

was like, excuse me? Just to stress, this was business hours.

It's not like you rocked up at 7pm.

This is 3, 3.18pm.

Yeah.

Maybe 17, 18pm.

They should give you a grace period.

But whatever, they weren't.

Your man rocks down and goes, oh, you're joking.

You locked the door.

And I was like, okay, well, do you have a key? And he goes, no, I didn't know he locked it.

And I was like, what? do you think I'm standing outside in the sun for a bit of crack? Like, obviously I can't get in.

That's why I called.

Yeah.

Otherwise I'd be in there.

And he was like, I'll give him a call to get him to come down.

And I said, well, is he nearby? Because at this point, remember, I'd already spent 15 minutes trying to figure out where it was.

Now I've spent 15 minutes waiting.

And I had a call that I had to be on at five o'clock.

And I was like, right, we're pushing it really, really close now.

It's going to take me an hour to drive back.

Is he on the way? And he said, well, he's just down the road.

And I was like, well, you were just down the road and you took fucking

15 minutes.

But I was like, right, okay.

I said, no, okay, no problem.

Waiting there, another 15 minutes rolls by.

Then this lad rocks up and he's like, oh, sorry about the wait.

And I was like, right, it's Grant.

And he was like, oh, did your man talk to you? Did he explain everything to you? And I said, no.

And he was like, right, okay.

Because also, it's not like it's a quick transaction with renting a car.

It's always, there's always a rigmarole and...

Faff.

Yeah.

Faff.

Also, let me just preface this.

They sent me, and I documented this to Tim because I couldn't get over how many emails they were sending me in a day.

Before it even turned 8.30 in the morning, I got three emails from them reminding me that I had a reservation and it kept changing the time between three o'clock, half three, three o'clock, half three, three o'clock, half three.

Weird.

It was back and forth.

Again, three emails before 8.30 in the morning.

I was like, this place was bombarded by them constantly.

So I was already kind of annoyed with the spam.

And they kept asking me to do an online check-in so I wouldn't have to check in in person.

So I was like, I've done your online check-in, grand.

It's all done.

I've put in all the documents.

So in theory, I should just get my keys.

So anyway, he's like, oh, come on.

And he opens up the door.

And then he goes, yeah, just, you know, normally when people are late, like, we kind of just tend to go back to the office.

And I said, hang on the fuck now.

First of all, you don't need to...

I'm pissed off that I've been waiting half an hour for you guys.

You don't need to try to be like, well, you were late as well because you've pissed me off.

Secondly...

I was 15 minutes late.

You should have given someone a grace period.

And thirdly, the address is wrong.

And I was like, oh, no, it said the address was in the Hilton Hotel.

And he was like, oh, what? No, we moved out of there three months ago.

Oh, my God.

And I said, that's fine that you did.

I actually don't work for you.

Funnily enough, this is the first time I'm coming here.

And he was like, well, did you not get our...

He was like, oh, we have our address on the emails.

And I was like, well, I booked through booking.com.

So I have the address in booking.com. And he was like...

that's booking.com though and I was like they're your suppliers that's their like surely that's their listing on booking.com like they clearly need to update their listing on booking.com I would assume

thank you I was so I was just like right okay that's kind of annoying at this point I was like right okay that's fine look it's grand I just I'm really under time pressure now I've been waiting outside for 30 minutes it's so hot I have no water I just want to get the car so I can go also who knows what the hell traffic is going to be like At least an hour, at least an hour.

I'd already messaged your man at this point being like, look, I might be five minutes late to this, blah, blah.

I was like, right, okay, let's go.

And then he was like, okay, cool.

So let's start the check-in.

And I was like, I already checked in online, thanks to your a million emails.

And then he was like, oh, no, but one of the documents wasn't approved.

So we have to do the whole thing again.

And I was like, okay, you sent me three emails before 8.30 in the morning, reminding me of the time going back and forth between half an hour, which to be fair, you could argue that because I got those emails, I was actually 15 minutes early.

Yeah, I was going to say, they kept changing

the time.

They were telling you half three.

Exactly.

So if you can do that, you can't email me to say that one of the documents wasn't approved.

So then I had to go and find another bank statement to show them that I am who I say I am.

And he was like, okay, grand.

And then we had to do the whole, so like passports, IDs, everything, the whole thing again.

And obviously he was taking ages.

And I was like, look, I was like, I'm really sorry.

Just I'm under a lot of time pressure now.

Like, do you have any idea? And he was like, yeah, no, we're getting there.

and what do you think about maybe this car instead this is a nicer car it's a better feel and I was like stop trying to upsell me I want the car I got I don't want another one and he was like this is a better car and I said no I picked this car in particular because it has a really short nose and so many cars they don't go high up and I can see over the bonnet of the car so I want it to have a nose where I can see where I'm going and then he was trying to upsell me on my insurance and I was like I don't want insurance I have the insurance I have I don't need more insurance And he was like, well, you know, if you do crash the car, I said, look, I'm

not planning on actually

crashing the car.

I don't plan to.

And I get he has to do this, but also I'm like, dude, like he's going so slow.

They were like, I get that I was 15 minutes late.

No, no, no.

Read the room.

But

also...

Or 15 minutes early.

Or 15 minutes early.

Like between the two of them,

it took them half an hour to let me in.

I was kind of like, come on.

And then he was like, right, OK, so I

need the card

to take the deposit.

I said, no problem.

So I handed him my debit card and he was like, I need a credit card.

Oh, I knew this was coming.

Oh, no.

And

I was like, I don't have a credit card.

And he said, oh, you left it at home.

And I said, no, I physically do not own a credit card.

Yeah.

And he was like, which I am going to apply for one right fucking now.

Yeah.

And he was like, I was like, I thought it

was a good thing not to have a line of credit.

I was like, I don't have one.

And he was like, I can't take a debit card.

They can.

No, he said, I can't.

He said, I can't take a debit card.

It takes too long to take the deposit.

Yeah.

and I was like

usually they can just take a big old deposit only I was like

I'll just pay you I'll pay you the money and then you have the receipt and then I'll get the refund for it it's fine and he was like it takes too long I can't I cannot release the car I can't give it

to you how does it take too long Apparently the banks don't approve

it on time.

I don't believe that.

He was like, I can't do it.

And then he was like, if you upgrade to this car and you do this and you do that, then we'll take a smaller deposit and we could do that.

But then that car was like an extra 300 quid.

And I was like, well, no, because then I may as well get the trains.

It's not worth this to me now to drive and do all that sort of stuff.

I've wasted so much time.

And I was sitting there and I was like, I call, you know, when you're just so hot and so tired and so angry and you just kind of want to cry.

And I

was

like, I was like, are you fucking joking me? Like I was standing outside in the heat for over half an hour, running around the extra 15 minutes.

So 45 minutes, I'm finally there.

He says, I can't take the fucking car.

And I think he was a little bit like, You could just tell I was not having it.

And he was like, if you email booking.com, like they'll try sort of refund for you.

And I was like, you can actually just fuck off.

I

obviously

didn't say that.

I said, thank

you so much for your time.

And I politely left.

I

was like, I was there imagining you just being so polite through this whole interaction.

Just saying, don't worry about it.

I know.

And then I got inside and called Tim and I was like, I ruined our anniversary.

He's like, it's fine.

Just get home.

Get on the call.

And then I'm sprinting home.

The call I thought was going to be half an hour, an hour max.

It ended up being nearly two hours.

So I was there like sweating.

And then did the call.

I was like, right, let's get to Brighton.

Let's figure out how we can go.

And I was looking at other car rental companies.

It didn't make sense.

I was like, let's just get the train.

We'll go down.

Then we have all the bags.

Because remember, I packed being like,

we have a car.

Sure, I'll throw some extra parachutes on there.

You know, you've got to bring in more stuff

when you have the car.

So we're loading

everything up the train station.

And then I was like, oh, my foot is a bit weird.

Look at the bottom of my shoe.

My shoe split in half.

Oh my God.

I'll

show you a picture.

I think you sent me a picture actually.

It's

the

sole

is like split.

The sole of the little kind of like platform Birkenstock kind of shoes.

Yeah.

The sole is genuinely just splits in two.

Yeah.

No idea how.

I don't know where it came from.

Sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

No, my shoe's broken.

Of course my shoe's broken.

No problem.

Yeah.

And I was like, bad thing comes in threes.

I was like, what's going to be the third thing the entire way there? I was like, What's it going to be? What's it going to be? What's it going to be? And I can't decide which one it is.

I chipped my buyout.

I said, that's not it.

That's not on level.

That's annoying.

You can accept that.

I would accept that as bad thing number three.

I couldn't accept it.

The next thing, I got to Brighton.

I was like, I'm going to go to the loo before we go.

Sit down, get my period.

I was like...

It feels natural but also it wasn't bad thing number three because I just said I knew the period was coming.

This isn't a twisted space.

We're used to these things.

We are but I'm still annoyed about it.

It's annoying.

yeah explain why I was hot and sweaty and near to

tears no the sun the heat and the feckin late

men I blame them

stupid men and

anyway we get on the bus and we're sitting on the bus on the last leg to Katie's house and this drunk chick gets on stumbling her way through the bus and she just whacks me in the head with her elbow and I was like Jesus Christ I was like ow and I turned around to be like you hit me on the head and then she was

like

oh god nice that's it that's bad thing number three

okay we're taking that it's like I thought you're gonna go but still that was not bad thing number three

no I think that was bad thing number three and then so the next day because I was annoyed that I didn't get the car I was like fuck it I'm gonna drink way more than I ever would have because I don't have to drive yeah so anyway