Oct 6, 2026 · 55 min · 14 segments
What does it actually feel like to love a foster child you may have to give back? In this episode, Loren shares her journey from a late-night application as a single woman to adopting her son…
What do you think allowed you, as the foster parent receiving a child from a situation that resulted in a mother having criminal charges...
Okay, so not this specifically, but as a foster parent, it's sometimes easy to have resentment towards people who have not parented in the way you wish they'd parented.
Mm-hmm.
But you allowed, you had such grace for his biological family from the very beginning.
Truly, I'm not sure w- exactly what helped me from the beginning.
Um, I did do a lot of mental work to just remind, remind, remind myself.
I mean, it's truly just a practice of this is not your child, you know, this is their child.
Uh, but once, once I met her and saw their relationship, it's, it was very difficult for me not to have compassion.
Um, and just see, in all the situations we've been apart with the children, it's more of an ignorance than intentional, in, in my situations.
Now, there are much more harsh and abusive situations that I'm sure it would have been much harder for me to, you know, have compassion and work with her, but even her criminal charges came from her just not wanting to lose her baby, so...
Mm, yeah.
Could see her hurt.
I could immediately see all the, all the strings and ties that were in her life that led to all that, just her family connections that would come with her.
Um, just a lot of things that, you know, wouldn't have happened to me simply because of where I grew up and where I, you know, who I came from.
So- It, I hate to say it's not totally her fault, but it's just so much bigger than this person made such a bad decision.
You know? So...
Did those early days allow you still the space in your heart to think, "I've attached to this child because we haven't had this, I haven't had to share him yet.
But also, the plan is still reunification, and I need to prepare my heart for his going back to his biological family"?
His case was very hard to separate those because of me starting off as a single woman, um, with him, and then him just being so attached to me.
We were just a pair.
And so there was just a lot of anguish and just heartbreak throughout.
Um, you know, reminding myself that he's not mine and there has to be something bigger.
What do you think allowed you, as the foster parent receiving a child from a situation that resulted in a mother having criminal charges...
Okay, so not this specifically, but as a foster parent, it's sometimes easy to have resentment towards people who have not parented in the way you wish they'd parented.
Mm-hmm.
But you allowed, you had such grace for his biological family from the very beginning.
Truly, I'm not sure w- exactly what helped me from the beginning.
Um, I did do a lot of mental work to just remind, remind, remind myself.
I mean, it's truly just a practice of this is not your child, you know, this is their child.
Uh, but once, once I met her and saw their relationship, it's, it was very difficult for me not to have compassion.
Um, and just see, in all the situations we've been apart with the children, it's more of an ignorance than intentional, in, in my situations.
Now, there are much more harsh and abusive situations that I'm sure it would have been much harder for me to, you know, have compassion and work with her, but even her criminal charges came from her just not wanting to lose her baby, so...
Mm, yeah.
Could see her hurt.
I could immediately see all the, all the strings and ties that were in her life that led to all that, just her family connections that would come with her.
Um, just a lot of things that, you know, wouldn't have happened to me simply because of where I grew up and where I, you know, who I came from.
So- It, I hate to say it's not totally her fault, but it's just so much bigger than this person made such a bad decision.
You know? So...
Did those early days allow you still the space in your heart to think, "I've attached to this child because we haven't had this, I haven't had to share him yet.
But also, the plan is still reunification, and I need to prepare my heart for his going back to his biological family"?
His case was very hard to separate those because of me starting off as a single woman, um, with him, and then him just being so attached to me.
We were just a pair.
And so there was just a lot of anguish and just heartbreak throughout.
Um, you know, reminding myself that he's not mine and there has to be something bigger.
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