Ultra-thinness is back: how to talk about our bodies

Libby, you've spoken a lot about how your body's changed throughout your life.

When I hear the name Libby Trickett, I do see you in your swimmers.

And I understand that as an athlete, your body is your main asset, right? So people do feel that they have the right to comment on it.

You've also had five kids.

Why do you think body size remains one of the last areas where people feel entitled to openly judge people?

Because I think people are afraid of feeling anything other than surface level.

Oh, that means you're good.

You're pretty.

You're dressed nicely.

And to Demi's point, we are in this society that like if someone has lost weight, I mean, I don't think anyone can... say for a fact that we haven't gone in our heads, that person's lost weight or that person's put on weight.

We have that judgmental voice inside of us because of how we've been brought up, how we've been conditioned.

But I would just challenge people to look more deeply at who someone actually is and Usually when someone is exuding that light from within, it comes out in how they look and feel around you.

But you don't have to go, oh, gee, you've lost weight.

Yeah.

And how beautiful would it be if people said to us, you're exuding that light from within? Right? Damn right I am.

Janet, we often hear concern about people's bodies dressed up as concern for their health.

Can you tell us what's the difference, in your opinion, between genuine concern and body policing?

Yeah, I think this is really important that there's a message we need to be focused on, which is that other people's bodies are not our business, especially people who we have no personal relationship with.

They are absolutely not our business, right? It seems to be like the further more degrees of separation, the more people feel like, you know, Libby, you've spoken to that, like how much...

People think they have a right to comment.

So other people's bodies are not your business, but the people who we love and care about, it is totally appropriate to express care and concern, if necessary, for behaviors which are observable things.

as opposed to expressing concern about a person's body size in and of itself, in isolation of anything else that we know going on for a person, that's where I think we need to be cautious.

There's a lovely kind of phrase that around the, I notice and I wonder, like I notice you're not sitting with us at mealtimes.

I wonder if you're okay.

You know, is there anything I can do to support you? Has that situation become uncomfortable? Is there anything you'd like to talk about? That's a very different conversation than, oh, you're looking X, Y, or Z in relation to their appearance.