Aug 10, 2026 · 29 min · 9 segments
There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken? Yumi…
Yumi StynesHostDeniseGuest
Liz NealGuestJessGuestJoyGuest
It feels really good to be pursued, to be wanted, to be wanted in a situation that is usually considered forbidden.
She's a psychologist who's worked with many couples trying to sort through infidelity.
In her practice, she sees firsthand what it's like to be the other woman from all sides of the triptych.
When any relationship begins, there are a whole range of hormones that are increased and released, and the feel-good stuff, you know, dopamine, serotonin.
And the first stage is limerence, where it is marked by an increase of these hormones.
If you don't know what limerence is, it's basically the desire to be desired, the all-consuming thoughts of another, the I'll simply die if I can't have them feeling.
It's intense, it can be addictive, and it can make people make choices they otherwise might not.
You can have a very intelligent, grounded person, but this is the thing with hormones and this kinda thing, is that people do things and make these choices that seem really inconsistent with logic and what we would usually ethically do because of the impact and effect that this feeling has on us.
When you're the other woman waiting for your secret partner to contact you, it can be excruciating, and then when they do, exhilarating.
It's what researchers call partial reinforcement, and it keeps the woman on the hook.
Holding us there and making us want to come back, it's actually how, um, gambling and poker machines work.
Uh, you, you could absolutely look at this in terms of the brain chemistry involved, very, very similar to what happens with all kinds of different drugs.
It feels really good to be pursued, to be wanted, to be wanted in a situation that is usually considered forbidden.
She's a psychologist who's worked with many couples trying to sort through infidelity.
In her practice, she sees firsthand what it's like to be the other woman from all sides of the triptych.
When any relationship begins, there are a whole range of hormones that are increased and released, and the feel-good stuff, you know, dopamine, serotonin.
And the first stage is limerence, where it is marked by an increase of these hormones.
If you don't know what limerence is, it's basically the desire to be desired, the all-consuming thoughts of another, the I'll simply die if I can't have them feeling.
It's intense, it can be addictive, and it can make people make choices they otherwise might not.
You can have a very intelligent, grounded person, but this is the thing with hormones and this kinda thing, is that people do things and make these choices that seem really inconsistent with logic and what we would usually ethically do because of the impact and effect that this feeling has on us.
When you're the other woman waiting for your secret partner to contact you, it can be excruciating, and then when they do, exhilarating.
It's what researchers call partial reinforcement, and it keeps the woman on the hook.
Holding us there and making us want to come back, it's actually how, um, gambling and poker machines work.
Uh, you, you could absolutely look at this in terms of the brain chemistry involved, very, very similar to what happens with all kinds of different drugs.
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