Limerence

She's totally wrecked.

Limerence is still lingering strong, is what he says.

We still live together and I've been doing all of the work to manage pushes and pulls.

She is totally stuck.

And before the break, the brand new track from Shy Girl which goes incredibly hard.

Bringing it back round to girls, this is 1-800-GIRLS with a track called Limerence.

Thank you to those of you who've gotten in touch thus far on the Saturday two to four.

We always do like to hear from you.

No one found this strange at the time, but this behavior was indicative of a much bigger problem in hindsight.

For some context, Danielle has very openly talked about her struggle with limerence and anxious attachment in her dating advice videos.

Limerence is like an unhealthy obsession or infatuation with someone without the facts, without knowing them.

Now, limerence is an unhealthy infatuation with a person you know nothing about and creating a very idealized version of them in your head.

Anxious attachment, on the other hand, is an insecure attachment pattern characterized by low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, and intense craving for validation from partners.

Fear of rejection and a constant need for reassurance.

Limerence.

You constantly think about them.

You think about this person.

It's not the same as getting to be in longing.

So this brings us to, when we bring this into the non-monogamy le-lens, the relational lens, limerence.

Limerence is all about...

And limerence is separate from new relationship energy.

New relationship energy may have a limerence edge to it, but limerence is all about this, this tension of I can't really have this.

Like, either a person keeping you in an ambiguous state of not really, they're not really in, they're not really out, or they may not even know you exist.

I can be limerent for Ryan Gosling, right? Like, I, I can be limerent for somebody who does not know anything about me.

Limerence is about me letting myself exist in this space of wanting and it not actually being up to me.

And it actually can tear couples completely apart.

You see, as the reward cycle strengthens, you the unfaithful may enter into what is commonly called limerence.

Limerence is an intense state of romantic infatuation that's marked by intrusive thoughts, cravings, idealization, and a deep longing for the other person's attention or approval.

It is often obsessive.

You become obsessed with the limerent object, which is the person you are seeking approval or attention from.