EP71: Singlehood with Chanté Joseph

Hello, this is Jodi White, and you're listening to Journals of a Love Addict.

Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? This is such an intriguing question, but it's also the title of an article written by Shante Joseph for Vogue that explores a growing cultural shift in how women think about dating and partnership.

And that shift reflects how many women are rejecting this long-standing idea and what I consider an inherited belief.

that being chosen by a romantic partner is the goal.

It's a measure of our worth or our success or our value as a woman.

And instead of focusing so much energy on the pursuit of a partner, more and more women, according to this shift, are putting the energy into into themselves and who they are outside of romantic relationships.

In her Vogue article, Shante says there's no shame in falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying and failing to find it, or just not trying at all.

She says being single is was once a cautionary tale, like, you'll end up a spinster or a lonely old cat lady.

But it's now becoming a desirable and even coveted status, which is another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to begin with.

When I found her article, I thought...

Oh yeah, this woman is speaking my language and I want to know more about her.

So I looked up Shantae on Instagram and realized that she was already following me.

So I made up a story in my head and I thought, hmm, maybe she's interested in the topic of love addiction.

Then more recently, this last spring, Shante published another article in Glamour UK about the singles tax regarding how much more it costs to live as a single person than a partnered one, and then how this can lead us into relationships or to stay in relationships that might be unfulfilling.

So I had to invite her to join me for an episode of the podcast to talk about all of this and how it relates to love addiction and recovery.

As Shante and I sat down to record this episode, I asked her if she has seen any of the recent content posted by creators and quote-unquote mental health experts and even ads from legitimate brands targeting women who who are, according to this content, attracted to avoidant partners or unavailable men, and using very specific language, such as, do you get hooked or dysregulated, or do you get so anxious in relationships that you can't function? Because I've been seeing an increasing amount of content like this, and I have some feelings.

So let's get started with Shantae and hear what she has to say about it.

Hello, this is Jodi White, and you're listening to Journals of a Love Addict.

Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? This is such an intriguing question, but it's also the title of an article written by Shante Joseph for Vogue that explores a growing cultural shift in how women think about dating and partnership.

And that shift reflects how many women are rejecting this long-standing idea and what I consider an inherited belief.

that being chosen by a romantic partner is the goal.

It's a measure of our worth or our success or our value as a woman.

And instead of focusing so much energy on the pursuit of a partner, more and more women, according to this shift, are putting the energy into into themselves and who they are outside of romantic relationships.

In her Vogue article, Shante says there's no shame in falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying and failing to find it, or just not trying at all.

She says being single is was once a cautionary tale, like, you'll end up a spinster or a lonely old cat lady.

But it's now becoming a desirable and even coveted status, which is another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to begin with.

When I found her article, I thought...

Oh yeah, this woman is speaking my language and I want to know more about her.

So I looked up Shantae on Instagram and realized that she was already following me.

So I made up a story in my head and I thought, hmm, maybe she's interested in the topic of love addiction.

Then more recently, this last spring, Shante published another article in Glamour UK about the singles tax regarding how much more it costs to live as a single person than a partnered one, and then how this can lead us into relationships or to stay in relationships that might be unfulfilling.

So I had to invite her to join me for an episode of the podcast to talk about all of this and how it relates to love addiction and recovery.

As Shante and I sat down to record this episode, I asked her if she has seen any of the recent content posted by creators and quote-unquote mental health experts and even ads from legitimate brands targeting women who who are, according to this content, attracted to avoidant partners or unavailable men, and using very specific language, such as, do you get hooked or dysregulated, or do you get so anxious in relationships that you can't function? Because I've been seeing an increasing amount of content like this, and I have some feelings.

So let's get started with Shantae and hear what she has to say about it.