71. Be More Selfish: Here's Why

Now, one thing I have been thinking a lot about, and I think this is a really common issue with a lot of my clients actually, is women who believe that self-care is selfish.

But I also want to talk about how the women who are, quote, "selfish," unquote, are the ones who actually have the body and the life that you want.

They have the energy you want.

They have the presence you want.

They have the elevated mood that you want.

They really bring energy into a room.

I think the women who sacrifice everything for anyone else are just the ones who are resentful.

They're exhausted.

They're inflamed.

Oftentimes they have an autoimmune disorder, and it takes them getting to such a dark place before they seek help with it.

And as a result, everyone around them actually pays the price, especially the people that they're supposedly sacrificing for.

So today I kind of wanna blow up this entire story that putting yourself first is somehow a moral failure, because it's not.

It's actually the most strategic and selfless thing you'll ever do.

Because I wanna talk about what selfish actually means.

I think we've stigmatized selfish to mean that nobody else matters except you, that it's kind of narcissistic, that it's, you know, not good to be selfish.

You're not gonna get the, what you want if you're selfish.

You're actually gonna get better outcomes if you're not selfish.

And what I'm not talking about is not considering other humans.

Obviously, we have to consider other humans.

However, we always have to look at our needs first and know how to take care of ourselves and have the playbook of how to take care of ourselves so we can communicate with others, so we can support others, so we can pour from a place of overflow and not depletion.

Oftentimes, what selfish means is you just know what you want, and you're not afraid to go get it.

It means you're self-aware enough to understand when you're not okay, and knowing that when things aren't okay, nothing around you will be okay either.

It means you have standards.

You hold your standards.

You have boundaries, not because you're being a pain in the ass, but because you know how you function best, and that requires self-excavation and self-understanding on a deep level, and this is what I think so many women today are lacking.

Now, one thing I have been thinking a lot about, and I think this is a really common issue with a lot of my clients actually, is women who believe that self-care is selfish.

But I also want to talk about how the women who are, quote, "selfish," unquote, are the ones who actually have the body and the life that you want.

They have the energy you want.

They have the presence you want.

They have the elevated mood that you want.

They really bring energy into a room.

I think the women who sacrifice everything for anyone else are just the ones who are resentful.

They're exhausted.

They're inflamed.

Oftentimes they have an autoimmune disorder, and it takes them getting to such a dark place before they seek help with it.

And as a result, everyone around them actually pays the price, especially the people that they're supposedly sacrificing for.

So today I kind of wanna blow up this entire story that putting yourself first is somehow a moral failure, because it's not.

It's actually the most strategic and selfless thing you'll ever do.

Because I wanna talk about what selfish actually means.

I think we've stigmatized selfish to mean that nobody else matters except you, that it's kind of narcissistic, that it's, you know, not good to be selfish.

You're not gonna get the, what you want if you're selfish.

You're actually gonna get better outcomes if you're not selfish.

And what I'm not talking about is not considering other humans.

Obviously, we have to consider other humans.

However, we always have to look at our needs first and know how to take care of ourselves and have the playbook of how to take care of ourselves so we can communicate with others, so we can support others, so we can pour from a place of overflow and not depletion.

Oftentimes, what selfish means is you just know what you want, and you're not afraid to go get it.

It means you're self-aware enough to understand when you're not okay, and knowing that when things aren't okay, nothing around you will be okay either.

It means you have standards.

You hold your standards.

You have boundaries, not because you're being a pain in the ass, but because you know how you function best, and that requires self-excavation and self-understanding on a deep level, and this is what I think so many women today are lacking.