52. You've Survived... But Have You Healed? Getting Through vs. Regulating Through

Have you ever noticed how people say, "I got through it," or, you know, they say it very proudly like, "I got through the divorce.

I got through cancer.

I got through losing my job.

I got through my childhood." And that's absolutely something to celebrate, but getting through isn't the same as regulating through, and there is a v- big, big, big difference.

This distinction has literally changed my life.

When I look back at my life, I've gotten through a lot.

I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck.

I was a child born of infidelity.

I've had a lot of childhood h- trauma, lots of secrets in my family.

I lost both my biological parents by the age of 25 and 26.

I was sexually abused when I was little.

I was raped in my 20s.

I was robbed on a beach.

I had serious burnout when I lived in New York, and from the outside, though, I got through it all.

I was so strong, but my body didn't.

My body was screaming.

I looked functional on the outside.

I kept a job, I paid my bills, but I wasn't regulated, and there is a massive difference between getting through and regulating through, and let me show you what that looks like, okay? Getting through looks like, say, you had a traumatic birth, but you're still alive.

However, your body tenses up when you think about it.

Maybe you've had a fe- huge financial loss.

Your bank account recovered, but you still panic whenever money gets tight.

Maybe you had a marital rupture.

You've stayed together, but you never actually repaired the trust.

Maybe you had a messy divorce.

You've moved on, but you still carry resentment, bitterness, and fear.

Have you ever noticed how people say, "I got through it," or, you know, they say it very proudly like, "I got through the divorce.

I got through cancer.

I got through losing my job.

I got through my childhood." And that's absolutely something to celebrate, but getting through isn't the same as regulating through, and there is a v- big, big, big difference.

This distinction has literally changed my life.

When I look back at my life, I've gotten through a lot.

I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck.

I was a child born of infidelity.

I've had a lot of childhood h- trauma, lots of secrets in my family.

I lost both my biological parents by the age of 25 and 26.

I was sexually abused when I was little.

I was raped in my 20s.

I was robbed on a beach.

I had serious burnout when I lived in New York, and from the outside, though, I got through it all.

I was so strong, but my body didn't.

My body was screaming.

I looked functional on the outside.

I kept a job, I paid my bills, but I wasn't regulated, and there is a massive difference between getting through and regulating through, and let me show you what that looks like, okay? Getting through looks like, say, you had a traumatic birth, but you're still alive.

However, your body tenses up when you think about it.

Maybe you've had a fe- huge financial loss.

Your bank account recovered, but you still panic whenever money gets tight.

Maybe you had a marital rupture.

You've stayed together, but you never actually repaired the trust.

Maybe you had a messy divorce.

You've moved on, but you still carry resentment, bitterness, and fear.