Inner Moonlight: Princess McDowell

All right.

All right.

In the 1550s, Thomas was the archetypal name, invoked maleness.

Later, shortened to Tom meant a boy who was boisterous and rude.

in the 16th century related to tomfool or tomfoolery.

The Greek root tom means to cut.

In 1852, Harriet Beecher Stowe took Tom and tamed him, made him a disappointment to the men in his life.

Boys play sports and get dirty and throw rocks from their tongues and don't mind the loose teeth.

Tomboys do the same but never grow old or into anything, always hiding in the shadows of the boys they are not.

Tomboys have sympathy pains for crotch-kicks, not pretend or wishful thinking more uncontrolled and penned leaves.

My father named me archetypal female, coupled with his Irish surname meant suitable junior.

Earlier, daughter of a monarch.

Once feral enough, cut it from everyone's mouths, became widow of a prince.

Boys let me play running back and hop fences and pretend I was one of them until I was not.

Sometimes boys glow, enlightened into young women.

In 2004, a man loosened my teeth until I tasted sovereign bloodline, no longer spoiled, arrogant maybe.

I'd learned enough about Uncle Tom to not be his nephew, but some men will never treat you like family.

Now that I'm older, time has been cut.

I've redefined myself for the long I sound.

I am the type of boy who likes to build things with his hands.

My body has always felt like mine, but when I'm alone, I pack a penis into my boxers and feel most normal.

I only do this in quiet.

I'm the type of boy who needs loud cheers to know I am doing things right.

I love being a woman.

And yet, my gender expression is more stunted masculinity and shunned femininity.