Sep 21, 2026 · 10 min · 7 segments
As Christians, it's common for our lives to include suffering, anguish, and inner wail. In these dark moments, what we sometimes need is a way to express our inner pain and a mantra to help us through…
James AgnewHost
i lay and dreamed three crosses stood amid the gloomy air two bore two men one was the good the third rose waiting bare a roman soldier coming by mistook me for the third i lifted up my asking eye for jesus sign or word i thought he signed that i should yield and give the error way i held my peace no word revealed no gesture uttered nay against the cross a scaffold stood whence easy hands could nail the doomed upon that altar wood whose fire burned slow and pale upon this ledge he lifted me i stood all thoughtful there waiting until the deadly tree my form for fruit should bear rose up the waves of fear and doubt rose up from heart to brain they shut the world of vision out and thus they cried amain ah me my hands the hammers knock the nails the tearing strength my soul replied tis but a shock that grows to pain at length ah me the awful fight with death the hours to hang and die the thirsting gasp or common breath that passes heedless by my soul replied a faintness soon will shroud thee in its fold the hours will go the fearful noon rise pass and thou art cold and for thy suffering what to thee is that or care of thine thou living branch upon the tree whose root is thee divine tis his to care that thou endure that pain shall grow or fade with bleeding hands hang on thy cure he knows what he hath made and still for all my inward wail my foot was firmly pressed for still the fear lest i should fail was stronger than the rest and thus i stood until the strife the bonds of slumber break i felt as i had ruined life had fled and come awake yet i was glad my heart confessed the trial went not on and glad likewise i had stood the test as far as it had gone and yet i fear some recreant thought which now i all forget that painful feeling in me wrought a failure lingering yet and if the dream had had its scope i might have fled the field but yet i thank thee for the hope and think i dare not yield so let's unpack this a bit i think we can divide this poem into maybe four sections which i will refer to as setting the scene the tension the resolution and then the aftermath the second and third sections the tension and the resolution are what stand out to me the most so that's why i want to direct most of our discussion The first part, setting the scene, it's painting this picture in the reader's mind of the site of the crucifixion and the idea that the narrator is about to be crucified, you know, along with Jesus.
And it's in this context that that we get the tension which is this kind of powerful internal struggle where the narrator is essentially arguing with himself or in some sense he's arguing with the witness of god within him so we have this back and forth where the narrator expresses some fewer pain and then his soul responds back you know to that to that statement of fear so the narrator says ah me my hands the hammers knock the nails the tearing strength but his soul replies tis but a shock that grows to pain at length The narrator, still crashing out, says, Like, yeah, this is a pretty appropriate response for a person about to be crucified, right? And the complaints of the narrator, they're a bit longer this time.
But then his soul, in response, has this longer comfort, this longer rebuttal, which tries to put it all in perspective.
His soul replies, So his soul essentially is saying, hey, listen, this is going to pass and you're going to die, all right? It's going to be okay.
And for thy suffering, what to thee is that? Or care of thine? It's like this gentle parental questioning.
Like, why are you freaking out? Like, what care is this of yours? Like, don't you know that it's for God to care, like, the pain, you know, that should grow or fade? And then the last words, the last charge his soul gives him.
i lay and dreamed three crosses stood amid the gloomy air two bore two men one was the good the third rose waiting bare a roman soldier coming by mistook me for the third i lifted up my asking eye for jesus sign or word i thought he signed that i should yield and give the error way i held my peace no word revealed no gesture uttered nay against the cross a scaffold stood whence easy hands could nail the doomed upon that altar wood whose fire burned slow and pale upon this ledge he lifted me i stood all thoughtful there waiting until the deadly tree my form for fruit should bear rose up the waves of fear and doubt rose up from heart to brain they shut the world of vision out and thus they cried amain ah me my hands the hammers knock the nails the tearing strength my soul replied tis but a shock that grows to pain at length ah me the awful fight with death the hours to hang and die the thirsting gasp or common breath that passes heedless by my soul replied a faintness soon will shroud thee in its fold the hours will go the fearful noon rise pass and thou art cold and for thy suffering what to thee is that or care of thine thou living branch upon the tree whose root is thee divine tis his to care that thou endure that pain shall grow or fade with bleeding hands hang on thy cure he knows what he hath made and still for all my inward wail my foot was firmly pressed for still the fear lest i should fail was stronger than the rest and thus i stood until the strife the bonds of slumber break i felt as i had ruined life had fled and come awake yet i was glad my heart confessed the trial went not on and glad likewise i had stood the test as far as it had gone and yet i fear some recreant thought which now i all forget that painful feeling in me wrought a failure lingering yet and if the dream had had its scope i might have fled the field but yet i thank thee for the hope and think i dare not yield so let's unpack this a bit i think we can divide this poem into maybe four sections which i will refer to as setting the scene the tension the resolution and then the aftermath the second and third sections the tension and the resolution are what stand out to me the most so that's why i want to direct most of our discussion The first part, setting the scene, it's painting this picture in the reader's mind of the site of the crucifixion and the idea that the narrator is about to be crucified, you know, along with Jesus.
And it's in this context that that we get the tension which is this kind of powerful internal struggle where the narrator is essentially arguing with himself or in some sense he's arguing with the witness of god within him so we have this back and forth where the narrator expresses some fewer pain and then his soul responds back you know to that to that statement of fear so the narrator says ah me my hands the hammers knock the nails the tearing strength but his soul replies tis but a shock that grows to pain at length The narrator, still crashing out, says, Like, yeah, this is a pretty appropriate response for a person about to be crucified, right? And the complaints of the narrator, they're a bit longer this time.
But then his soul, in response, has this longer comfort, this longer rebuttal, which tries to put it all in perspective.
His soul replies, So his soul essentially is saying, hey, listen, this is going to pass and you're going to die, all right? It's going to be okay.
And for thy suffering, what to thee is that? Or care of thine? It's like this gentle parental questioning.
Like, why are you freaking out? Like, what care is this of yours? Like, don't you know that it's for God to care, like, the pain, you know, that should grow or fade? And then the last words, the last charge his soul gives him.
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