Sep 24, 2026 · 44 min · 11 segments
Send us Fan Mail A missing parent can turn into a legend in your head and that illusion can quietly reshape your entire life. We talk about why people romanticize an absent parent, how the brain…
So romanticizing about the absent parent, I mean, it doesn't necessarily mean you lying about what happened, but sometimes it's like the brain is trying to create this relationship that you really wanted or hoped for.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's like the brain is doing something that.
It's a coping mechanism.
I mean, it's allowing you to go ahead and manufacture a narrative to be able to cope with the fact that that parent was not there for you.
I like how you said manufacture.
Manufacture.
Absolutely.
You made it up.
You made it up.
And you made it up.
in a way where that mama who wasn't there or that daddy who wasn't there, they become either Superman or superwoman.
So
let's think about it from a child's perspective.
In a child's perspective, if I make that up in my head and I'm telling my brain this, emotionally, like you said, a coping mechanism, but emotionally, that's what makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Feeling like this parent was there.
Yeah.
They were doing this.
They were doing that.
Right.
So romanticizing about the absent parent, I mean, it doesn't necessarily mean you lying about what happened, but sometimes it's like the brain is trying to create this relationship that you really wanted or hoped for.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's like the brain is doing something that.
It's a coping mechanism.
I mean, it's allowing you to go ahead and manufacture a narrative to be able to cope with the fact that that parent was not there for you.
I like how you said manufacture.
Manufacture.
Absolutely.
You made it up.
You made it up.
And you made it up.
in a way where that mama who wasn't there or that daddy who wasn't there, they become either Superman or superwoman.
So
let's think about it from a child's perspective.
In a child's perspective, if I make that up in my head and I'm telling my brain this, emotionally, like you said, a coping mechanism, but emotionally, that's what makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Feeling like this parent was there.
Yeah.
They were doing this.
They were doing that.
Right.
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