I Said What I Said with Shane McCarthy
Oct 19, 2026 · 10 min · 9 segments
This week’s Monday Dilemma is messy, awkward, and way too relatable. A listener organised her boyfriend’s mam’s 68th at home and somehow ended up booking catering, cake, decorations and getting the…
"Hi, Shane.
I organized my boyfriend's mam's 60th recently, and now I'm being called a martyr for asking for the money back.
His sister suggested a party at home and said, 'Book whatever we need, and we'll all sort you out.' Somehow I ended up organizing the catering, the cake, decorations, and getting the house ready for 30 people.
It cost me 900 euro, which I paid upfront.
Afterwards, I sent the receipts to my boyfriend and his two siblings, assuming they'd split it three ways.
His sister then said I should pay a quarter because I helped organize it.
Her husband and his brother's wife aren't expected to contribute separately, just me, even though I organized it.
Then she accidentally sent a message into the group saying she loves taking over and then playing the martyr.
Nobody asked her to do a photo wall.
She deleted the mes- message, but it was too late."
"I'd seen it.
My boyfriend has offered to cover my share to keep the peace, but I'm annoyed I did all that work and somehow ended up with a bill and an insult.
Now his mam, who knows nothing about this, has asked me to work my magic for Christmas dinner.
Do I tell his sister I saw her message and ask for my money, or accept my boyfriend's offer and quietly retire as the family's unpaid event planner? I'm so angry over all of this."
"Hi, Shane.
I organized my boyfriend's mam's 60th recently, and now I'm being called a martyr for asking for the money back.
His sister suggested a party at home and said, 'Book whatever we need, and we'll all sort you out.' Somehow I ended up organizing the catering, the cake, decorations, and getting the house ready for 30 people.
It cost me 900 euro, which I paid upfront.
Afterwards, I sent the receipts to my boyfriend and his two siblings, assuming they'd split it three ways.
His sister then said I should pay a quarter because I helped organize it.
Her husband and his brother's wife aren't expected to contribute separately, just me, even though I organized it.
Then she accidentally sent a message into the group saying she loves taking over and then playing the martyr.
Nobody asked her to do a photo wall.
She deleted the mes- message, but it was too late."
"I'd seen it.
My boyfriend has offered to cover my share to keep the peace, but I'm annoyed I did all that work and somehow ended up with a bill and an insult.
Now his mam, who knows nothing about this, has asked me to work my magic for Christmas dinner.
Do I tell his sister I saw her message and ask for my money, or accept my boyfriend's offer and quietly retire as the family's unpaid event planner? I'm so angry over all of this."
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