366 Every Yes Costs Something

I want us to begin with this question: Do I have time? Because whenever there is a new opportunity, a new chance for you to extend yourself in some way, that's typically where we begin.

We look at the time cost, and we take a look at our calendars.

We check to see whether or not it can fit in somewhere.

I will start off by saying this.

If you don't have a block on your calendar to fit something, then you're going to need to evaluate what that yes is gonna require you to say no to.

Because if there isn't space on your calendar, trying to fit something in, this is how we end up in a state of fatigue.

This is how we end up overwhelmed.

This is where we get to that place where we feel as if our life has taken an energy of its own and it's moving us away from peace, it's moving us away from joy and satisfaction, and we're just moving with the energy of our yeses.

We're moving with the energy of the things that we have agreed to without really evaluating our capacity to sustain them.

I'll give you an example.

If someone asked you out for an, an evening event, maybe it's dinner with a couple of people.

When you're looking at that event, if you look at your calendar and you say, "Yes, I do have an hour for this evening event," I want you to take it one step further.

What is required of you in the moment as you are experiencing that event? If this dinner event, let's say, is something related to business, maybe it's a colleague that is inviting you out before making a final decision or maybe it's a coaching client or some other type of consulting client where you are really trying to get their business, so the dinner isn't just friendly.

It has some other expectations attached to it.

So dep- depending on that particular situation, let's say this one is someone who you're trying to build relationship for a future opportunity.

Yes, an hour of time may be required, but now what else is being drawn from you? You're gonna need some social energy because you're going to, in those moments, be attentive to what that person's saying, which is gonna require increased mental energy.

You're going to be using your empathy and your compassion and all of your sc- sells and persuasion skills to clearly hear what they are articulating so that you can then regurgitate it back to them in some form.

So you're using sensory energy as well because you're going to need to block out all of the sounds of the other people who are at that restaurant talking and enjoying themselves and the forks hitting the plates and the glasses clinking.

So you're blocking all of this out and although in the moment you thought you were just saying yes to an hour of your time, you're also saying yes to other aspects of your energy, other aspects of the seven types of rest that are being taken in because you said yes.

And so maybe that day you didn't have any extra social energy after a full day at the office.

Maybe your mental energy is on edge and your capacity's down and you're not mentally as clear as you would normally be.

Perhaps your sensory overloaded before you ever stepped into the restaurant.

And so although your calendar had an hour available, these other areas of rest really didn't have the capacity to take on that yes, and that's the hidden cost of many of our yeses.

Every yes costs you something, and so it requires a level of understanding that your capacity is more than just your time.

It is also your energy and the type of... and the amount of energy reserve that you have available for the work that you are looking at doing, the thing you're looking at stepping into.