The Same Fire Built My Success

i turned it all inward on myself so i had that mentality of okay if the world hates me well i hate me too and that's when it turned really bad it was like a click

it was

like i went from this fun party girl with all these friends i mean i always had that aspect but then the darkness took over and got to remember i had so many bad beliefs about myself so these are all in the stages of life where the beliefs that you cement are going to affect you later on in life because our beliefs are what drive all of our lives so unconsciously what we believe will control our emotions our thoughts and then our behaviors into our reality and that's why my beliefs were mirroring me in my reality.

So I obviously believed I was a monster.

I believed I was dumb.

I believed that, you know, I shouldn't be gay.

I was labeled with all these things.

It was like disorder, disorder.

Everything I did, they gave me a name for.

So I started to feel like I was crazy, reject.

You know, the sexual experience made me believe the world was unsafe.

So that was another belief I gave myself.

So I would feel and have thoughts that would create these destructive behaviours.

So, you know, hanging out with the wrong people.

I rid off my parents' car like 60 metres into a golf course to the point where I pulled myself out of the window.

The car was completely gone, not a scratch on me, and just went home.

It's so amazing to sit here and hear about the universe that you've created for yourself and the success.

It's an amazing story to tell and really useful for people and parents to hear that there is hope, right? That amazing things can come out of these situations that people find themselves in in their younger lives.

And you mentioned when you were a teenager, alcohol and other drugs were one of the things that you used to feel better about yourself and to socialise.

But over time, that escalated for you.

Without going into things you don't want to talk about, can you describe what that period felt like? Yeah.

What you were running from, what you were looking for?

So these became coping mechanisms that... you know, were very destructive and they were almost so addictive.

I couldn't give up.

So the drugs weren't a problem without the alcohol.