356: The Most Underrated Secret to a Strong Marriage

And I want to know first, do you feel like you guys do a good job of this? Where are you guys at?

It's funny because when I say like he's calling my friend, I'm like, oh, yes, he's totally my friend.

And then when I was like looking through the research of it, I'm like, oh, wait, I don't do that.

Okay, I'm kind of mean when it comes to that.

And we're going to go into his.

So it was like when you first have him come in, what's the first thing that you do

and see? And we'll talk about this too.

But in a tight schedule, the first thing is like, hey, are you picking him up or am I? Or wait, did you grab the blueberries on the way home? And that's the first thing that comes to my mind.

So I have to

literally,

it does.

And that's the hard part too, is that I think that there's a part of this, of the type A personality of wanting to be productive instead of fun.

And then I'm like, that will get in the way of a friendship and marriage.

It'll get in the way of friendships, period.

But then definitely in a relationship like a marriage where there are managerial things that you have to do.

So I think naturally I wouldn't be as fun in our marriage.

So I had to like actually purposely do it.

So when we started doing the research for this, I literally had to like coax myself to be like, wait, when he comes in the door, the first thing that we're going to do is kiss and ask him about his day and be legitimately happy and excited and ask a follow-up question instead of, are you going to pick up the kids or why?

Well, this is interesting too because I know you have that insecurity that you are not the most fun person.

Yes.

And this is around family mostly because you are the one that's always getting to the place on time, making sure everyone has what they need for school, like all of that.

So then for that to also like bleed into this portion of your relationship makes a lot of sense.

What about for you guys? So the thing that's, I think, unique about Drew and I, and maybe some of you can relate, is like we see each other all the time.

Like we're around each other so much because he works from home now and I work from home sometimes.

And so I think we just have a lot of time together.

And I want to know first, do you feel like you guys do a good job of this? Where are you guys at?

It's funny because when I say like he's calling my friend, I'm like, oh, yes, he's totally my friend.

And then when I was like looking through the research of it, I'm like, oh, wait, I don't do that.

Okay, I'm kind of mean when it comes to that.

And we're going to go into his.

So it was like when you first have him come in, what's the first thing that you do

and see? And we'll talk about this too.

But in a tight schedule, the first thing is like, hey, are you picking him up or am I? Or wait, did you grab the blueberries on the way home? And that's the first thing that comes to my mind.

So I have to

literally,

it does.

And that's the hard part too, is that I think that there's a part of this, of the type A personality of wanting to be productive instead of fun.

And then I'm like, that will get in the way of a friendship and marriage.

It'll get in the way of friendships, period.

But then definitely in a relationship like a marriage where there are managerial things that you have to do.

So I think naturally I wouldn't be as fun in our marriage.

So I had to like actually purposely do it.

So when we started doing the research for this, I literally had to like coax myself to be like, wait, when he comes in the door, the first thing that we're going to do is kiss and ask him about his day and be legitimately happy and excited and ask a follow-up question instead of, are you going to pick up the kids or why?

Well, this is interesting too because I know you have that insecurity that you are not the most fun person.

Yes.

And this is around family mostly because you are the one that's always getting to the place on time, making sure everyone has what they need for school, like all of that.

So then for that to also like bleed into this portion of your relationship makes a lot of sense.

What about for you guys? So the thing that's, I think, unique about Drew and I, and maybe some of you can relate, is like we see each other all the time.

Like we're around each other so much because he works from home now and I work from home sometimes.

And so I think we just have a lot of time together.