Jul 13, 2026 · 39 min · 11 segments
**Marriage doesn't just bring two people together. It also brings together different families, expectations, traditions, and experiences. Today we're talking honestly about some of the most common…
One thing when I was seeing my therapist that really helped as a reminder, is that it is really okay to want something different than what you have.
And why I add that is, of course, like, if you're going through a hard in-law situation, and we'll read some of those, and they're not involved, or every time they come it's very clear that they favor one family more, or it's your own parents and, like, you just wish that they cared to come to one baseball game ever, it's okay to wish that your situation was different.
Of course, that doesn't change the situation you're in, so she was trying to just get me to understand, like, it is okay that you wish you had something different.
You know? But your reality is that whatever cards that we are given, we are gonna have to get through it, and we are gonna have to play them.
So just putting that out there, that there are just situations that are tough, and just knowing that, like, you know what? I wish, even if it's for your own children, like, I just wish the situation was different.
Like, my kids deserve to have grandparents-
Yeah
... that, like, absolutely love them, or whatever you're going through.
Like, it's healthy to know that you wish you had more.
I remember when your therapist said that.
It was so meaningful even to me, like, when you were talking about it afterwards because on this podcast, you guys know, like, we will meet you in solidarity, but then we also wanna move forward.
Mm-hmm.
And that's exactly what it is.
It's like you are saying, "Yes, I understand that this is hard," and are there some things that I can do personally, or some boundaries I can put into place? And we'll go through some of those too throughout this episode.
And then one thing-
Mm
...
when we were working on the episode that we really started to think about, is that when it comes to in-laws, because now a lot of our in-laws are the grandparents-
Yeah.
Mm-hmm
... of our children, and one thing that that brings up is you consciously or unconsciously are comparing them to the grandparents that you had, and that can be a really tough comparison for some people.
And for some people, it can work in the opposite direction.
So I had grandparents that were lovely people, and I did see them.
They were a part of my life, but they didn't come to much.
Like, I was telling Abby, I'm like, "I can remember one T-ball game that my grandpa came to out of all four grandparents." [laughs] Like, it was very minimal.
One thing when I was seeing my therapist that really helped as a reminder, is that it is really okay to want something different than what you have.
And why I add that is, of course, like, if you're going through a hard in-law situation, and we'll read some of those, and they're not involved, or every time they come it's very clear that they favor one family more, or it's your own parents and, like, you just wish that they cared to come to one baseball game ever, it's okay to wish that your situation was different.
Of course, that doesn't change the situation you're in, so she was trying to just get me to understand, like, it is okay that you wish you had something different.
You know? But your reality is that whatever cards that we are given, we are gonna have to get through it, and we are gonna have to play them.
So just putting that out there, that there are just situations that are tough, and just knowing that, like, you know what? I wish, even if it's for your own children, like, I just wish the situation was different.
Like, my kids deserve to have grandparents-
Yeah
... that, like, absolutely love them, or whatever you're going through.
Like, it's healthy to know that you wish you had more.
I remember when your therapist said that.
It was so meaningful even to me, like, when you were talking about it afterwards because on this podcast, you guys know, like, we will meet you in solidarity, but then we also wanna move forward.
Mm-hmm.
And that's exactly what it is.
It's like you are saying, "Yes, I understand that this is hard," and are there some things that I can do personally, or some boundaries I can put into place? And we'll go through some of those too throughout this episode.
And then one thing-
Mm
...
when we were working on the episode that we really started to think about, is that when it comes to in-laws, because now a lot of our in-laws are the grandparents-
Yeah.
Mm-hmm
... of our children, and one thing that that brings up is you consciously or unconsciously are comparing them to the grandparents that you had, and that can be a really tough comparison for some people.
And for some people, it can work in the opposite direction.
So I had grandparents that were lovely people, and I did see them.
They were a part of my life, but they didn't come to much.
Like, I was telling Abby, I'm like, "I can remember one T-ball game that my grandpa came to out of all four grandparents." [laughs] Like, it was very minimal.
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