Aug 25, 2026 · 1 hr 8 min · 13 segments
As we move through the world and our lives we are surrounded with images, stories, connections and relationships that tell us who we are, who we should be, who we should love, how we should love, and…
Heather McIntoshHostMarieGuestMikeGuest
Mike and Marie have shown up for each other, been present and intentional, and through this they have strengthened their bond.
They both came from families where neglect, confusion and insecurity were baked into the fabric of daily life.
So in finding one another, they're building new experiences of security and safety that change the script of what is normal, as they've learned how to support each other through the inevitable hard times of family life.
They've been perfect puzzle pieces, showing up for each other in their own unique places of emptiness and lack, and healing old wounds through their presence.
We definitely talk about this a lot where when we think of how our relationship developed, I almost have a little bit of this view that our attachment style and the trauma almost sometimes like helped a little bit.
So like if you're pulling away, my anxious attachment ramps up a little bit.
So I'm like, oh, I have to take care of you.
But when you're pulling away, that's when you actually need the care.
Cause you're probably pulling away because something else is going on that care is happening.
And then when I'm struggling.
You know, your attachment system comes in and like in a weird way, it's like it also helped us.
Like, I don't know.
I remember like one of the first like crash outs I had in our relationship where I started freaking out because like it's too easy.
Uh-oh.
Like it felt.
Yeah.
I was like, this is, this is too easy.
Like what's the matter? Where's the catch? Like, when is this going to hurt?
There is a catch by the way, but yeah, there's always a catch, but yeah,
it might not be the one we expect, but I just, I remember like, freaking out like I was just so I was just so dysregulated and you were just like cool as a cucumber about it and you were just you just waited you just waited like you were there you like held the space for me to have that I don't even know if you said much, to be honest.
You want to be in a relationship, feels scary as anything, and somehow it can't be trusted.
Mike and Marie have shown up for each other, been present and intentional, and through this they have strengthened their bond.
They both came from families where neglect, confusion and insecurity were baked into the fabric of daily life.
So in finding one another, they're building new experiences of security and safety that change the script of what is normal, as they've learned how to support each other through the inevitable hard times of family life.
They've been perfect puzzle pieces, showing up for each other in their own unique places of emptiness and lack, and healing old wounds through their presence.
We definitely talk about this a lot where when we think of how our relationship developed, I almost have a little bit of this view that our attachment style and the trauma almost sometimes like helped a little bit.
So like if you're pulling away, my anxious attachment ramps up a little bit.
So I'm like, oh, I have to take care of you.
But when you're pulling away, that's when you actually need the care.
Cause you're probably pulling away because something else is going on that care is happening.
And then when I'm struggling.
You know, your attachment system comes in and like in a weird way, it's like it also helped us.
Like, I don't know.
I remember like one of the first like crash outs I had in our relationship where I started freaking out because like it's too easy.
Uh-oh.
Like it felt.
Yeah.
I was like, this is, this is too easy.
Like what's the matter? Where's the catch? Like, when is this going to hurt?
There is a catch by the way, but yeah, there's always a catch, but yeah,
it might not be the one we expect, but I just, I remember like, freaking out like I was just so I was just so dysregulated and you were just like cool as a cucumber about it and you were just you just waited you just waited like you were there you like held the space for me to have that I don't even know if you said much, to be honest.
You want to be in a relationship, feels scary as anything, and somehow it can't be trusted.
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