Aug 10, 2026 · 52 min · 12 segments
Episode 9 - Balls, Balls, Balls Performed by: Ben Meredith as Hooper Written and Performed by: Amy Dickinson as Nyx Imogen Harris as Elisar Jenny Haufek as Elizabeth and Tim Meredith as Tripe…
Okay, Elsa Breath, I've done my best with the outfit.
Shame you're such a runty little shorto, but you are now ready for the Beltane Ball.
I feel like a fairy princess.
[groans]
Hey, I look good.
We're not saying you don't look fine, but if you looked like a fairy princess, there would probably be a lot more weaponry.
And rendered skulls.
You look more like a, a, a bog sprite princess.
Okay, I'll take it, as long as I don't look like a goblin princess.
Oh.
We're a grassroots egalitarian republic.
How does that work?
Oh, well, basically every goblin just does what the hell they feel like, and no one can stop them.
[snaps finger] Focus, Iza.
I wanna have one more go with the glamour.
You're not giving me much natural talent to work with.
How do I look now?
Well, you're not gonna win any of the hotness awards at the end of the evening, but you'll do.
Tripe, lend me your spoon a minute.
Oh, here you go.
And remember-
Yes, yes.
Spoon Elizabeth can't hurt real Elizabeth.
Yeah.
Okay, Elsa Breath, I've done my best with the outfit.
Shame you're such a runty little shorto, but you are now ready for the Beltane Ball.
I feel like a fairy princess.
[groans]
Hey, I look good.
We're not saying you don't look fine, but if you looked like a fairy princess, there would probably be a lot more weaponry.
And rendered skulls.
You look more like a, a, a bog sprite princess.
Okay, I'll take it, as long as I don't look like a goblin princess.
Oh.
We're a grassroots egalitarian republic.
How does that work?
Oh, well, basically every goblin just does what the hell they feel like, and no one can stop them.
[snaps finger] Focus, Iza.
I wanna have one more go with the glamour.
You're not giving me much natural talent to work with.
How do I look now?
Well, you're not gonna win any of the hotness awards at the end of the evening, but you'll do.
Tripe, lend me your spoon a minute.
Oh, here you go.
And remember-
Yes, yes.
Spoon Elizabeth can't hurt real Elizabeth.
Yeah.
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