Get a 6-Figure Job You Love and Thrive
Jul 28, 2026 · 27 min · 12 segments
Have you ever caught yourself thinking "I should be doing more" and then somehow ended up doing even less? In this episode, I'm breaking down a real coaching session from my group call that stopped…
I had my group call with my coaching clients this morning, and one of them brought something that I think so many people struggle with, and that the model that we did for her and the new outlook that she has on this now is gonna change her behavior moving forward.
So I just wanted to come and share it with everybody because it's a really useful way that we use the tools, the coaching tools, to get ourselves to change our actual behavior.
This is her-- So, so if you listen to me, you don't know the model, go listen to one of the episodes where I talk about the model.
So circumstance is the thing that you can't, like the thing that you can't change.
It's gonna be the past, somebody else's behavior, something somebody said word for word.
Um, it's, the circumstance is something that can be proven in a court of law that everybody agrees with.
It's something that's very boring and factual, and it's, it's basically like a sentence somebody said or, or the fact that, you know, this is an iPhone or this is a tree or like collective agreements we all have.
We've all agreed that we call, that we give things certain names or we call things certain things.
So for the circumstance in this client's model, her circumstance was that she has a job contract that ends in November.
So her thought is that she needs to find something new by November, something that she can step into when her job in November ends, when her contract in November ends, right? So her thought is right now, when she brought it, her unuseful, uncoached thought was, "I should be doing more.
I should be doing more." And that thought, we realized, makes her feel stressed out because when she thinks, "I should be doing more," it implies, "I'm not doing enough," which means that she feels stressed because it means the possibility of her getting the job that she wants by November is less whenever she thinks that thought.
So then her feeling of stress, what we, what we learned, and this is for her specifically, was creating avoidance.
What she was actually doing was scrolling on social media and then beating herself up for scrolling, feeling guilty about it, think- saying, "That's not helpful behavior." And basically, the behavior coming from the thought, "I should be doing more," and that feeling of stress that was created by that thought is actually creating behavior that takes her farther away from the result she wants.
And the result that she ends up getting from this is she does less of what she could do.
I had my group call with my coaching clients this morning, and one of them brought something that I think so many people struggle with, and that the model that we did for her and the new outlook that she has on this now is gonna change her behavior moving forward.
So I just wanted to come and share it with everybody because it's a really useful way that we use the tools, the coaching tools, to get ourselves to change our actual behavior.
This is her-- So, so if you listen to me, you don't know the model, go listen to one of the episodes where I talk about the model.
So circumstance is the thing that you can't, like the thing that you can't change.
It's gonna be the past, somebody else's behavior, something somebody said word for word.
Um, it's, the circumstance is something that can be proven in a court of law that everybody agrees with.
It's something that's very boring and factual, and it's, it's basically like a sentence somebody said or, or the fact that, you know, this is an iPhone or this is a tree or like collective agreements we all have.
We've all agreed that we call, that we give things certain names or we call things certain things.
So for the circumstance in this client's model, her circumstance was that she has a job contract that ends in November.
So her thought is that she needs to find something new by November, something that she can step into when her job in November ends, when her contract in November ends, right? So her thought is right now, when she brought it, her unuseful, uncoached thought was, "I should be doing more.
I should be doing more." And that thought, we realized, makes her feel stressed out because when she thinks, "I should be doing more," it implies, "I'm not doing enough," which means that she feels stressed because it means the possibility of her getting the job that she wants by November is less whenever she thinks that thought.
So then her feeling of stress, what we, what we learned, and this is for her specifically, was creating avoidance.
What she was actually doing was scrolling on social media and then beating herself up for scrolling, feeling guilty about it, think- saying, "That's not helpful behavior." And basically, the behavior coming from the thought, "I should be doing more," and that feeling of stress that was created by that thought is actually creating behavior that takes her farther away from the result she wants.
And the result that she ends up getting from this is she does less of what she could do.
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