Demanding #1209

What is the meaning of life? People have asked that for as long as there have been people.

Viktor Frankl turned the question around, though.

In the concentration camps, he watched men give up when they stopped expecting anything from life.

He wrote, quote, "It did not matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us," end quote.

Stop asking life what it means and start answering what life is asking of you.

And Frankl said how, quote, "Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct," end quote.

Meaning isn't buried treasure.

You don't dig it up.

You answer it.

So how does life ask? For me, it asks through my roles.

As a husband, father, every role places a demand on me every day, and that demand is the question.

Here's how I try to answer it.

Energy first.

If I'm depleted, I'm a worse husband and a worse dad.

So sleep, training, and meditation aren't selfish.

They're service.

Number two, I try to outperform the contract.

What does that mean? Every close relationship has an invisible agreement.

What my wife and kids have every right to expect from me.

Most of us live at the bare minimum of that contract.

Relationships rarely break from one big betrayal.

They wear down from a pile of mediocrity.

So I ask, "What is one thing I can do today that goes beyond what's expected?" And number three, be present in the role I'm playing.

Epictetus said to play the role you've been given and play it well.

Do you know the roles you've been given? You can't play the past you or future you.

What is the meaning of life? People have asked that for as long as there have been people.

Viktor Frankl turned the question around, though.

In the concentration camps, he watched men give up when they stopped expecting anything from life.

He wrote, quote, "It did not matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us," end quote.

Stop asking life what it means and start answering what life is asking of you.

And Frankl said how, quote, "Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct," end quote.

Meaning isn't buried treasure.

You don't dig it up.

You answer it.

So how does life ask? For me, it asks through my roles.

As a husband, father, every role places a demand on me every day, and that demand is the question.

Here's how I try to answer it.

Energy first.

If I'm depleted, I'm a worse husband and a worse dad.

So sleep, training, and meditation aren't selfish.

They're service.

Number two, I try to outperform the contract.

What does that mean? Every close relationship has an invisible agreement.

What my wife and kids have every right to expect from me.

Most of us live at the bare minimum of that contract.

Relationships rarely break from one big betrayal.

They wear down from a pile of mediocrity.

So I ask, "What is one thing I can do today that goes beyond what's expected?" And number three, be present in the role I'm playing.

Epictetus said to play the role you've been given and play it well.

Do you know the roles you've been given? You can't play the past you or future you.