What Did I Do?
Her first birth left her feeling powerless.
Emilee SaldayaHostWell, I mean, I checked the box, mama.
I checked it.
I checked it that I wanted that.
They gave me an option.
Yeah.
Well, I'm just saying I can't.
I just picked that and she came in, she did it.
She took him out of the room, comes back.
I remember I'm in the hospital.
He comes back.
He's crying.
I'm changing him.
I'm crying while I'm changing him because I'm like, Oh my God, what did I do to my baby? Like, I had no idea.
I just thought that's what you do.
And I'm like, I would never fucking do it again.
Never.
I like, it breaks my heart.
Like looking back at the things and the choices that I made, because that's what felt comfortable to me.
And none of it, like, I could have waited longer.
I could have, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just, there was so much time that was missed from when I had, when he was taken from my body to waking up.
Like, I don't even know how long.
I asked his father about it.
He didn't remember either, which is fine.
Well, I mean, I checked the box, mama.
I checked it.
I checked it that I wanted that.
They gave me an option.
Yeah.
Well, I'm just saying I can't.
I just picked that and she came in, she did it.
She took him out of the room, comes back.
I remember I'm in the hospital.
He comes back.
He's crying.
I'm changing him.
I'm crying while I'm changing him because I'm like, Oh my God, what did I do to my baby? Like, I had no idea.
I just thought that's what you do.
And I'm like, I would never fucking do it again.
Never.
I like, it breaks my heart.
Like looking back at the things and the choices that I made, because that's what felt comfortable to me.
And none of it, like, I could have waited longer.
I could have, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just, there was so much time that was missed from when I had, when he was taken from my body to waking up.
Like, I don't even know how long.
I asked his father about it.
He didn't remember either, which is fine.
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3 of 12
What Did I Do?
Her first birth left her feeling powerless.
The Missing Hours
She carries unanswered questions from that day.
We Fucking Did It
The baby’s arrival transformed terror into triumph.
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