#139: How to Approach Women Without Being Awkward Ft. Dylan Miracle

When Courtney and I used to record in person, we had this synergy of who's going to say what when.

We're learning it virtually of

like,

who's going to speak? How do we pick up on each other's cues? No, I really related to what you said about how to win friends and influence people.

That was a book my dad gave to me when I was, I don't know, 15, when I was struggling to be a confident high schooler.

And it was great for having that how to win friends and influence people.

But it made me lose myself in a lot of ways, like people pleasing, contorting.

So I'm curious from your perspective, how do you stay? How do you use pro social skills and still say, stay genuine and authentic and keep who you are?

That's a good question.

I think.

If you're reliant on tools and tools only, you'll always be performing your character.

I think the easiest way to change the way that people perceive you is to change the way that you perceive yourself.

So if you don't work on the inner dialogue, the negative self-talk, the view that you have on the world, no matter what tools that you implement, your inner world will eventually leak out, kind of like a rocky foundation.

Sure.

I think the real thing that separates it is intention.

So if I go into, say, a hard conversation with the intention of trying to win or lose the disagreement, I've already lost because it's a zero-sum game.

If I go in with the goal of trying to get to know the person better and coming from curiosity and care, I'm going to have much different results.

So I think working on how you perceive yourself combined with having the right intentions, I think, is how you can stay authentic.

Well said.

I love that.

And I think a lot of people who listen to our content are trying to figure out that line as well.

So they'll benefit a lot from it.

It really is about intention when you're bringing these tools to the

table.

You said something earlier, I kind of want to zoom in on, hopefully this is okay, but you said that you went from being in the friend zone to being the friend zoner.

When Courtney and I used to record in person, we had this synergy of who's going to say what when.

We're learning it virtually of

like,

who's going to speak? How do we pick up on each other's cues? No, I really related to what you said about how to win friends and influence people.

That was a book my dad gave to me when I was, I don't know, 15, when I was struggling to be a confident high schooler.

And it was great for having that how to win friends and influence people.

But it made me lose myself in a lot of ways, like people pleasing, contorting.

So I'm curious from your perspective, how do you stay? How do you use pro social skills and still say, stay genuine and authentic and keep who you are?

That's a good question.

I think.

If you're reliant on tools and tools only, you'll always be performing your character.

I think the easiest way to change the way that people perceive you is to change the way that you perceive yourself.

So if you don't work on the inner dialogue, the negative self-talk, the view that you have on the world, no matter what tools that you implement, your inner world will eventually leak out, kind of like a rocky foundation.

Sure.

I think the real thing that separates it is intention.

So if I go into, say, a hard conversation with the intention of trying to win or lose the disagreement, I've already lost because it's a zero-sum game.

If I go in with the goal of trying to get to know the person better and coming from curiosity and care, I'm going to have much different results.

So I think working on how you perceive yourself combined with having the right intentions, I think, is how you can stay authentic.

Well said.

I love that.

And I think a lot of people who listen to our content are trying to figure out that line as well.

So they'll benefit a lot from it.

It really is about intention when you're bringing these tools to the

table.

You said something earlier, I kind of want to zoom in on, hopefully this is okay, but you said that you went from being in the friend zone to being the friend zoner.