Sep 10, 2026 · 42 min · 9 segments
In this episode, I talk with Juan about his journey with Relationship OCD (ROCD), which he has been committed to working on since he found my work and a label for what he has been struggling with for…
When I was listening to your videos, talking about the self, you were explaining the parts, the managers, the firefighters, and you reached the self.
I could feel...
I could recognize a part of me that's always been there.
I've been to Vipassana meditation retreats, I do vision quests, and I'm very involved in periods of silence and contemplation.
But this change of being able to actually see not just the most incredible visions, but the daily life, the things that trigger me, the anger, the sadness, and be able to watch that from this point of being, from this... place of consciousness.
And, you know, it's easy for me to say I want to love the world and love the people and the animals, but to love my scary parts, my angry part, the shadow, that's the trick.
And being able to listen to someone talk about the self in such a, I don't know, a specific way, helped me to recognize the self as That's the I am that many traditions talk about.
It's like putting that I am into action, into everyday action.
Let's just stay in the etheric place.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It kind of ties together everything in a way.
IFS gives us that.
You know, IFS gives us a way to, you know, to not only embody it, but work with the constraints that cover it.
You know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's a lot of traditions, and I love all of them.
But a lot of, like, there's a lot of them that are a little bit more bypass, like spiritual bypass-y.
But IFS gives us a way to – it's called a constraint release model because the self's there.
It's all in there.
It's just we have things that we've taken on that cover that space within us, that love and compassion and everything.
And by being with our parts or the shadow or whatever we want to call it and listening to it and loving it, it sort of – it extricates us from the barriers that we've built up to – from that place within.
Yeah.
So it's it's quite powerful.
And so I'm so happy to hear that.
That's you know, it sounds like you've done all the stuff.
When I was listening to your videos, talking about the self, you were explaining the parts, the managers, the firefighters, and you reached the self.
I could feel...
I could recognize a part of me that's always been there.
I've been to Vipassana meditation retreats, I do vision quests, and I'm very involved in periods of silence and contemplation.
But this change of being able to actually see not just the most incredible visions, but the daily life, the things that trigger me, the anger, the sadness, and be able to watch that from this point of being, from this... place of consciousness.
And, you know, it's easy for me to say I want to love the world and love the people and the animals, but to love my scary parts, my angry part, the shadow, that's the trick.
And being able to listen to someone talk about the self in such a, I don't know, a specific way, helped me to recognize the self as That's the I am that many traditions talk about.
It's like putting that I am into action, into everyday action.
Let's just stay in the etheric place.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It kind of ties together everything in a way.
IFS gives us that.
You know, IFS gives us a way to, you know, to not only embody it, but work with the constraints that cover it.
You know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's a lot of traditions, and I love all of them.
But a lot of, like, there's a lot of them that are a little bit more bypass, like spiritual bypass-y.
But IFS gives us a way to – it's called a constraint release model because the self's there.
It's all in there.
It's just we have things that we've taken on that cover that space within us, that love and compassion and everything.
And by being with our parts or the shadow or whatever we want to call it and listening to it and loving it, it sort of – it extricates us from the barriers that we've built up to – from that place within.
Yeah.
So it's it's quite powerful.
And so I'm so happy to hear that.
That's you know, it sounds like you've done all the stuff.
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